Monday, November 27, 2017


You know what's really gross? What I could go without seeing again? The inside of someones knee. That's real disturbing, especially when it's attached to a leg that is flailing about but also sadly lacking in skin or kneecap or ligament and is also flinging blood everyone. I thought the only time the femoral condyles should be visible were during a sterile and well planned knee replacement surgery, but I guess 23:00 in the ER trauma room is a great time too.

PSA: Don't get piss drunk and do a lot of drugs, then drive >100 mph on the freeway and get ejected from your car where you'll skid facedown across all four lanes. You'll leave your knee on the road, as well as most of your face and toes.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017


I think the only thing that surprises me anymore about ER ridiculousness is that I'm still surprised by it. Like, seriously. I've been doing this for NINE years! HOW am I still shocked that people are so ridiculous?

Case in point, last week:

Young Dude, with a mild viral illness: I don't have anything for fever. Can I get a prescription for tylenol so I don't have to pay for it?

Me: No, tylenol doesn't require a prescription. If you get the store brand acetaminophen, it's like two or three dollars a bottle.

YD: How the fuck do you know if I can pay for that or not?

Me: Uh, you have an iPhone X in your hand?

YD: Fuck you, lady, I'm outta here. If I get a fever again, I'll just come back here for more tylenol.

End scene.