I can't believe it's been six months since the last post...although I keep saying that every time I go months without posting, so maybe I should stop being surprised at this point.
The past few months have been tough. Very, very tough. I took the full-time charge position back in April, and now I understand why every full time charge nurse I've met seems to be beaten down and crusty all the time. I'd like to think that I am a good nurse, and a decent charge - I genuinely love nursing and the ER, and I love taking care of the wildness that we see. I love seeing new grads grow up into great nurses and being a resource for them. I love managing the chaos of a busy department. But man. The past six months have been brutal for so many reasons. In one of my most recent posts, I mentioned an email I wrote railing about unsafe staffing levels and the general safety issues of the department, and how we would be in danger of losing all our staff if we stayed that course. Well, it happened.
The last two months or so have seen approximately 20 nurses quit. Most from night shift, some from midshift. We made our unhappiness known with the unsafe conditions of the waiting room setup, the lack of medics and PCTs due to extremely high psych volume requiring 1:1 sitters, multiple assaults on staff with little to no repercussions, and increasing expectations without the needed resources to support them. A real bricks without straw situation, honestly, and finally the staff decided they didn't need this shit and went elsewhere.
We are now desperate. In the previous posts I mentioned a Saturday night with skeleton staffing and how horribly unsafe it was. That staffing level is now our best case scenario. We often run the department with 12 beds plus a fast track area of 10 chairs. That's 22 beds for a wildly busy department, and it's on a good night. Being charge in a situation like that is more stressful than I could have imagined. I'm responsible for every walk in and EMS that comes thorough the doors, and scrutinized when I have to make patients wait. But what can I do? When I have six ambulances at once and no open beds, and every nurse is already in a 5:1 ratio, how can I give them more patients? How can I make everyone happy? How can I safely take care of patients when placed in a no-win situation?
It's untenable. I am unhappier than I've ever been in this job - which is so sad, because I absolutely love my career. But I have reached the point where I am actively looking to get out of this position. Healthcare in America is collapsing in general, and our hospital is no different from any other in the city. I could ditch for a different ER, but that will be just a same shit different place scenario. So I'm looking outside of ER nursing. I honestly never thought I'd get to this point. When I first started, I saw myself retiring as an old ER nurse, maybe picking up a different specialty every now and then but ultimately coming back to the first love. But now? I can't see myself in this job a year from now, let alone twenty.
So I'll keep everyone updated on where I end up, but know that this is the reason this blog has mostly ground to a halt. I'm just trying to stay afloat here until the right moment of escape presents itself.
5 comments:
So sorry to hear this. We are struggling in nursing in Australia too. Lots of youngsters leaving - off to greener / easier pastures and who can blame them. None of us went into nursing to be constantly overwhelmed and working in an environment that not only feels unsafe but is unsafe. Sending good thoughts your way.
I feel this in my soul. I walked away from ER nursing in April of 2021. I loved ER more than anything and had taken a few other jobs when I needed to broaden my horizons but always came back to my true love.
I took a Health Care Coordinator job at a busy street level clinic and it was better than working ER. I have moved again to a different clinic combined with an admin job and I can sleep at night. A few weeks ago I saw 26 ER nurse positions posted at the hospital I left. They only have 40 lines…..You are not alone and I am in Canada. I have heard recently that ER docs go in to find 2 ER nurses instead of 10 with the holding patients lining the hallways and cared for by whomever they can pull from elsewhere. It is brutal, unsafe and not getting better anytime soon.
I stayed until I couldn’t. I no longer feel guilty about that. They system crumbled and I could not let it take me with it. You are one cog in a broken machine. Good luck finding something that allows you to recover and flourish.
Im an LPN working on a Vent Trach unit in a Skilled Nursing facility and am currently working on my BSN. The nursing shortage is hitting everywhere. I cant count the number of open shifts we have in my facility between CNAs and nurses.
I am so sorry to hear about your staffing difficulties and the impact it's having on your spirit. I stayed on in acute nursing for way too long, past the severe disillusionment stage because I mistakenly thought that it was meant to be and I could not do anything else.
I eventually left acute nursing for a job in a nursing home and grew to love so many of those elderly folks. I remember one 4th of July when I brought sparklers in and we watched them from the courtyard. What a blast!
I know you will find something more fulfilling and kindly to your soul, just don't wait too long! All the very best to you!
I was thinking about this and realized the hospitals use the law against us.. we arent workers who can just walk off the job, do that and we can be prosecuted and lose our licenses.. so staffing isnt an issue to management because we will stay and we will handle it no matter what. I worked ER for 14 yrs and still do per diem but for the last 1.5yrs I’m in PACU at the ripe old age lol of 45 and much happier. Never thought I’d leave full time ER but there are easier jobs.. and in a trauma hospital the PACU definitely isn’t as boring as I’d expected. 1 patient at a time!
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