Thursday, May 15, 2008

Snark is my middle name

In the past month, I think I have managed to offend just about every single person I know. Whether I have been an ass to you in person, or have typed something that was mean, or sent a death glare your way...I've been a jerk.

Let me apologize: I'm sorry.

But let me explain my snarky ways, and thus defend myself!

1. I have no verbal filter. Almost everyone is mean at some point, but most have the ability to bite their tongue and not say the snappy comment. I have no such self-control. If I think it, I say it. Woe be upon you if you happen to be in the same room when I make the comment. I like to think it is now your problem for hearing it, not mine for saying it. On a side note, there are very few people that I will actually comment about. Fundus Chop and BS (and their associates) are really the only ones who qualify for this honor.

2. When I'm stressed, I get cranky. When I get cranky, I get short-tempered, and woe be upon you if you say something I don't 100% like. You'll get a death glare from me. If you're very lucky, I might also add a snarky comment, but this is rare.

3. I do respect Liberal Arts degrees. I have one myself, a BA in Interpersonal Communications. I just don't respect the relative workload during finals week, when I'm slaving over cumulative finals and the threat of failing out of the nursing program while the bubbly CMAT/Philosophy/Graphic Design/Drawing major two rows in front of me tries to remove her boyfriends' vocal cords with her tongue. Woe be upon you if you are in the same work area as me when I witness this, because I will probably insult your major.

4. I am inappropriate, but only at the times I choose. If you are inappropriate and I deem your timing as subpar, I'll give you the "I disapprove of your comment" stare. Really, maturity is only needed when I deem it so. Woe be upon you if you don't match your timing to mine.

So in all, I'm a snarky and offensive person when I'm cranky, and I'm usually only cranky around finals week. I apologize if I have pissed any of you off.

But I doubt I'll ever find my verbal filter, so I'll probably continue to piss people off. You should probably just learn to deal with it :)

1 comment:

sweepstakes said...

To the owner of this blog, how far youve come?