Friday, June 27, 2008

Old and cranky

I am equivalent to a cantankerous old lady. Hear me out.

I recently got a sunburn at the beach and let me tell was a sunburn. Like, the backs of my knees burned so badly I couldn't even bend them for a few days. Showers were like the seventh level of Hell. I carried lotion in my pocket. It was bad. So when I finally was able to twist my knees around enough to see them properly, I noticed a vein that was much darker than the others. "Surely I can't be getting varicose veins already! I'm young, healthy, and semi-active!" I managed to convince myself that it was nothing, and went on my merry way.

Fast forward a few days, and I'm in Chick-fil-A ordering a delicious chicken sandwich with waffle fries and polynesian sauce. (Relevant to the story? No. Mouthwatering? Yes.) I'm off to the side waiting for my sammich and fries, and a middle age lady steps up to order. Since it's close to boiling outside and everyone is wearing shorts, my eyes naturally wander around to check out her flip flops. SWEET JESUS does her husband beat her? Wait, maybe she sat on a sharpie and accidentally wrote all over her legs. No, maybe she had a run in with a Ford Bronco and a broken clutch (story will follow soon, trust me). I look closer. I rub my eyes. This is impossible. EVERY inch of her legs are covered in varicose veins. I swear I could have counted her pulse from where I was standing. Eegh.

I immediately think of my own vein behind my still-tender knee. And I immediately start promising that I will NEVER let myself get to that point. I complain to my mom about our family history of varicose veins. I complain to myself about my frequent leg crossing. I thought about it so often that I'm sure God was sick of hearing it.

So I zoomed home and ordered some stylish compression socks. And here I am, at 22 years old, wearing granny stockings and whining to anyone who will listen about my varicose veins and the state my legs may be in come middle age.

At this point, I'm just like a cranky old lady...minus the hearing aids and daily supply of metamucil.


Love or Nothing said...

HAHAHA so funny.

oh and LP? chic-fil-a dates for us are a must because i too LOVE a chicken sandwich with waffle fries and polynesian. SO EFFING GOOD.

tp said...


artillerywifecq said...

I hose-beast wrestle every day before my shift.. i hope is worth it.

Nick and Kaley said...

Ha ha ha, this made me laugh out loud, honestly.
And my roommate freshman year took metamucil...
Love you