A sweet lady came in today with severe constipation, s/p hemorrhoidectomy. She hadn't pooped in five days. After giving her 500 cc of a soap suds enema, she barely made it to the bedside commode to let it out. She got the majority of it in the pot, but a little bit squeaked out before she could get there. I was thinking she would be mortified that she dribbled, but instead she blurts out this gem:
"I've never been so glad to shit myself before!"