Saturday, February 28, 2009

Past medical history

A dialogue of absurdity. Enjoy.

Shrtstormtrooper: Are you allergic to any medications that you know of, or had any bad reactions to anything?
Patient: No, I don't have any drug allergies, and I haven't had any bad reactions.
Shrtstormtrooper: Do you have any medical problems, like asthma or diabetes or heart problems?
Patient: Nope, no health problems. I have a list of my meds though if you want that.
Shrtstormtrooper: Sure, let me take a look...okay, I see you were on Lisinopril, why did the doctor take you off it?
Patient: Oh, it's because my face swelled up real bad, the doc said it was angio-something and he didn't want me taking it anymore.
Shrtstormtrooper: .......I see. So you have high blood pressure and had a serious reaction to your medication. Please make sure you tell your health care providers that, it's really important for us to know. You're also on plavix and aspirin, why do you take those?
Patient: Oh, I had, what do you call it, atrium fibrillation. Oh yeah, I had a heart attack 4 years ago too. I even had stents put in!
Shrtstormtrooper: You take glipizide too, you must have diabetes.
Patient: But I don't take insulin, so it's not like bad diabetes.
Shrtstormtrooper: Right. That's quite the health history. Is there anything else I need to know about?
Patient: No, I'm pretty healthy right now.
Shrtstormtrooper: Mkay, thanks. I'm going to go spend three hours putting your history in, I'll be back.

Eh. Healthy as a sick horse, I guess.


Braden said...

Hence why I always ask, before giving a medication, if the patient can take it, even if they previously told me that have no allergies.

Em said...

Okay - I'll give you that one. That lady was just stupid!