Foolishness

Lemme tell you all, I got my ass kicked two nights ago. Like I didn't sit down for more than three seconds until at least 0500. I had legit super sick patients all night long. I wasn't even in traumas, so they were all sick medical people. When I got home in the morning, I drank a beer and went straight to bed. Saturday night sucked.

So when I went into work last night, I said to myself "self, this is going to be a good night, hear me?"

I entertained that thought until I rounded the corner into traumas, looked into my room, and thought "well fuuuuucckkk. It's going to be that kind of night."

Had it been a STEMI, or trauma, or hell, even a vented OD patient I would have shrugged and said bring it on. No, I got the patient type I hate the most - a trached patient. Trachs are the most disgusting thing on the planet. You've never seen a loogie until you've seen a tracher cough a lung booger all the way across the room. Ugh. Just, ugh. And it wasn't just any trach patient, it was a sick patient.

So whatever, I suck it up and deal. Three hours and much foolishness later, I finally get the patient upstairs. The room gets cleaned, and the EMS radio rings. I answer. Since I've got the only open room now, it's coming to me. And just my luck, it's a friggin trach patient. Again. I haven't had a trached patient all year, and now it's two in a row. My lucky day.

This guy is sick sick. I didn't come out of the room for three hours, and didn't chart a single thing until he had a bed assignment upstairs. Nothing went right. We couldn't get a peripheral line. The doc didn't want to do a central line. The patient fought us - as much as a quadriplegic can put up a fight. He was a DNR but wanted everything up to CPR and intubation done. He was septic. The foley wouldn't pass. His O2 sats wouldn't get above 88%. He coughed a lung booger on me - he somehow got it past his trach mask AND my gown. The nursing home forgot to send his paperwork. The admitting doc doesn't want to come in and see him.

FML. It was awful. He finally gets upstairs, and now I'm home, and it's time for a damn beer. Scratch that, it's vodka tonic time. I'm not getting out of bed today unless the apocalypse strikes. And even then it's debatable.

Diabeetus!

It was funny then. It's funny now. Perhaps funnier.


Diabeetus! I can haz tipe too diabeetus?

Deterioration

When you look on the tracking board and see that patient, you know you have to pep up your game a little. After all, this patient has been in your shoes before. In fact, he has been involved in the medical field longer than you've been alive. Every patient is treated with respect, but this patient is given a little extra oomph.

Normally a name means nothing to me. Tossing money around won't buy you respect. But this patient, this name, has done so much for the community. This patient has given his entire life for the bettering of the city and its people. His name is emblazoned on the giant wing of the hospital; his last act of giving to the city is to have given his entire mass of wealth so we could have this new wing and a brand new ER.

To see him sitting on the stretcher is a lesson in humility. Even the best of us have to fall at some point.

Dementia does not care if you gave everything for the good of others. Dementia robs you of your dignity, your humor, and your ability to remember the life you've lived. It leaves you a shell of a person. Dementia is not fun. It takes away everything and then some, until you can't even know that you are sitting in the very ER you gave to us.

I take care of all my patients with the respect they deserve. You deserve a little more.

PS

Also, it's about time this makes the main page of the news...

Assaults on ER nurses rise as programs cut.

Hopefully, finally, the idea that it's okay to tolerate this shit will be changed.

Shambles

My life is in shambles. I just found out that Discovery Health Channel is being terminated January 1 2011, to be replaced with...The Oprah Winfrey Network.

FML.

F. My. Life.

What am I going to watch? No more Code Blue, Dr. G, Skeleton Stories, or Trauma. Nada on Mystery Diagnosis, Super Surgery, or Critical Hour. Ixnay Impact:Stories of Survival, Medical Incredible, and Diagnosis X.

I am devastated. The only two shows left to my name are Mythbusters and Deadliest Catch.

How in the world am I going to survive?! How can you leave me like this, DHC?!