You know what really, really chaps my ass? When you come to the ER at 9:30 pm, for a chronic pain issue which has "just been nagging at me for a while now," on the 911 cabulance, for the sixth time this month, IN THE MIDDLE OF A FRICKIN BLIZZARD, and you get pissed at me when I tell you the hospital can't provide you a way home.
But they gave me a cab voucher last time! Well in case you hadn't noticed, there are nine inches of icy white stuff on the ground. No cab runs in that.
But I only live half a mile from the hospital! Trust me, if I could throw you that far I would do it gladly.
But can't someone drive me home? Yes. Let me call the national guard, just for you. Or maybe I should abandon the rest of my patients and drive you there myself. Yes, that seems like a winning idea.
But can't I be admitted? For bullshit back pain? I'd like to see you try.
But I have to work in the morning! And....? I'm at work right now, so obviously I found a way to make it happen.
But what am I supposed to do...this is YOUR fault for not being able to get me home, I want to speak to your charge nurse and I'm going to write a letter to the CEO telling them how you're mistreating me and how you shouldn't be a nurse because you don't care about people.
One charge nurse coming right up, buddy. And security, and a goodbye wave from me while I document the hell out of this. Feel free to sit in the waiting room for 9 hours. And no, I won't get you a blanket or ginger ale. Because you know what? You're right. I don't care about your complaints. You are angry at me for not bending over backwards to make the impossible happen. But really, you shouldn't even be here. You have a non emergent complaint, and you wasted valuable resources by requiring that EMS pick you up.
And the saddest part? When you're angry because the charge nurse hasn't come to you soon enough, and when you're angry that EMS didn't give you enough blankets for the ride, and when you're angry that I'm not in your room every three minutes to give you the dilaudid you demanded...I'm angry too.
I'm angry that EMS was dropping you off and weren't closer to the cardiac arrest call they needed to bring in. I'm angry that you're wailing for the charge nurse when she is comforting the wife of the sweet man that dropped dead of the big one tonight. I'm angry that you suck down pain meds like they are candy, while nothing will fix the pain of the newly widowed woman's holiday season gone to hell. I'm angry that you think you can manipulate me by threatening, pleading, and insulting. I'm angry that I wasted time arguing with you when I could have been doing something, anything for the arrest patient's family.
And deep down, that makes me cringe. Because you're right - I don't care about you and your BS complaints. And maybe that is the saddest of all. Instead of feeling compassion for you, I feel nothing but anger.