Monday, January 31, 2011


I am a rock. I am a brick wall. I have the blank stare to end all stares. I am impervious to small children and unicorns. I have a soft heart encrusted in a layer of steel and beer. I am a rock.

Let me set the stage...

8 months ago...
Frequent flyer: I don't know how I'll get home...sob story...I know how to work the system...sob story.
Other nurse: Well, I guess you can have a cab voucher.

7.75 months ago...
Frequent flyer: I don't know how I'll get home! Sob story. Whine. I have no money...Sob story.
Other nurse: Well, I guess you can have a cab voucher.

7.25 months ago...
Frequent flyer: I have no money, I'm so pathetic...Sob story. How will I ever get home?
Other nurse: Well, I guess you can have a cab voucher.

6.5 months ago...
Frequent flyer: How will I get home? I have a meeting with my social worker today, I think she can help me with bus tickets.
Other nurse: Well, I guess you can have a cab voucher.

6 months ago...

And so on.

Until tonight. We've been telling this girl for FOR.EV.ER. that she can't have a voucher, no way, yet she will always try and wheedle and whine and complain and look pathetic until someone caves, and if you don't cave she'll demand to speak to the charge nurse. Usually the charge nurse will put her foot down, but often enough someone will give her one and she keeps coming back with that in mind. Not today, bucko...

Frequent flyer: It's so cold outside! I have to watch my friends' kids in a few hours, and I don't have any way to get home! Can't you just give me a cab voucher?
Me: Um, no. You've been pulling that crap forever now, and I'm not giving you one.
FF: But I have to watch my friends' kids!
Me: Aaaaaaannnd?
FF: Well, how am I going to get there?
Me: How were you planning on getting there in the first place?
FF: I was going to walk.
Me: And it's too far to walk from here. So when you called the ambulance, how were you planning on getting home?
FF: Well, they gave me a voucher last time.
Me: Aaaaaaannnd?
FF: So I thought they would tonight too.
Me: So you called the ambulance for a complaint which you've had for years, and are feeling no different than usual, with the full knowledge that you have no cab money and no way to get home?
FF: I guess...but I really need a cab voucher!
Me...blank stare...Well, that's unfortunate. You're welcome to sit in the waiting room and make phone calls from your cell until you find a ride. No voucher for you.

Blah blah, sob story some more, I need the charge nurse, charge nurse backs me up 100%, peace out frequent flyer!

No cab voucher.

Just for tonight, the ER wins.

I am a rock.


newnurseinthehood said...

You can't hear it because computers don't work that way, but I'm doing a slow clap for you right now.

Filia Dei said...

The hospital should start it's own cab company and charge the insurance company.

shrtstormtrooper said...

Yeah, the problem with insurance is that like half of the people that come in are eating cheetos, drinking a big gulp pepsi, skipping dialysis, and when you ask what insurance they have they say "oh I got medicare."

Which actually means my taxes are paying for their 29 ER visits every quarter. No thanks. I'd rather not give those people another avenue to abuse the system.

Besides, a cab across town is $6. When you have a phone and cheetos and big gulps, I feel less sorry for you and your "I don't have any cab money" story.

Maha said...

I'm joining in the slow clap - it's infuriating to see the system abusers abuse the system with no consequence. I refuse to hand out cab vouchers to ppl with cellphones and iPods and eating better food than I've eaten for 12 hours...

Karen Sugarpants said...

Also joining in the slow clap. I'm convinced that if someone can afford a cell phone, they can afford basic needs first. Sadly, I also know this isn't reality.

Anonymous said...

As one of my former World Of Warcraft buddies said, "Priorties should happen to all people" when he saw a similar situation.