Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Things that are not funny

Okay, I don't know what's wrong with me. I can hold my bladder for like eighteen hours and dozens of patients and a giant coffee and two diet cokes and most likely some cheez-its too even though they are my weakness but not related to the bladder in any way, but double-you tee eff is up with me INSTANTLY having to pee the minute I get into my car to go home?!

I don't have to drive far. Probably only four or five miles. And come hell or high water I won't pee at work, but damned if I'm not sitting at the stoplight 400 feet from the ER employee parking lot, crossing my legs and almost in tears.

It never fails. It's like I have a sixth sense. An ass-sense, if you will. My buttcheeks touch my car seat and it's like ba-blam! Contain the fountain of gold. Or perhaps that is my #1 sense, and all the other normal ones are two through six. Who knows.

All I know is that it's not funny, and it's not at all amusing to have to walk past my neighbor at 0730 looking like I'm attempting the new Olympic sport of Stair Climbing Whilst Not Moving Your Legs.

9 comments:

Filia Dei said...

Maybe you should reconsider your policy of not peeing at work. Thats a major bladder infection waiting to happen missy!

Sean said...

OK.
That was funny... especially picturing the olympic sport.
I have a 30min-ish drive from work and a 75-90 min drive from school, so I empty the bladder prior to my drive.
LOL

RNBuilder said...

It's funny how these things happen. Mother nature just wants to makes this unpleasant at the most inconvenient times! But I agree with Filia, might need to think about peeing before you leave.

RNBuilder said...

It's kind of funny how this always happens. Mother nature wants to make us uncomfortable at the most inconvenient times! But I agree with Filia, maybe you want to think about going before you leave.

Anonymous said...

I have the same problem, but for me it's when I walk into my apartment building. This wouldnt' be so bad, except i live on a 3rd floor walk up.

Aargh.

Nurse J said...

high-larioos imagery! why the pee'ing at work aversion? channeling a little 'eliot' from scrubbs, are we? my sympathies.

shrtstormtrooper said...

Oh there is no aversion. I'll pee if nature calls. I just normally don't have to...until I'm in the car. And Anon, I'm in a 3rd floor walkup too. Sucks like whoa!

ThatGirlG said...

OMG! It always happens to me as soon as I hit rush hour traffic! Oddly, if traffic is moving at a decent pace, it doesn't happen. Anyway, love your posts!

Hiddencat said...

Our maternity professor would constantly talk about how we should never get in to a car with a full bladder because if we're in a car crash with a full bladder it will burst. She was one of those teachers who had 3 stories and would forget that she'd told them all already, so we all *really* got that drummed in to our heads.