Outpatient

So it's a slamming night. Like, five hour back up, cabulances coming from all corners of the city, and serious amounts of real sick people in hall beds. I'm sitting in the triage window, as it's my night to be the bitch in the box. A youngish guy comes in, and hands me a scrip for an outpatient blood draw order. He haughtily tell me "I just need you to draw this real quick for me." I explain that he has to sign in as an ER patient in order to be seen...and clearly this is unacceptable to him. "But all I need is bloodwork, lady. Do it here, because I'm not going to sit here in the waiting room," he says.

Oh no he didn't. Outwardly I'm neutral, but inside I'm quickly reaching boiling point.

He got supremely annoyed as I politely explained that he can't just jump the line and have me draw blood at the triage window because it's convenient for him. Finally he gets belligerent and snaps at me. I usually bite my tongue and try to be relatively polite back. But not tonight.

"Sir," I said, "this is the Emergency Room. Every single person that comes in does so because they feel they have an emergency or 'just need to be checked out real quick.' You have a nonemergent order for a nonemergent outpatient blood draw. If you 'just wanted it done real quick' you should have gone to outpatient, like instructed, during outpatient hours. Instead you came to the ER at 11:30 pm and everyone who got here before you 'just' needs to be seen too. They've all been waiting for hours and your nonemergent blood draw order won't bump you in front of any of them. So you can either sign in, take a seat and get comfortable, and we will draw your blood when it's your turn or you can 'just' leave and go to outpatient when it opens at 8am. Your choice. I'll let you ponder it while I'm triaging this gentleman behind you who can't breathe."

It felt so good.