Monday, June 4, 2012

Saying goodbye

Leaving is hard. I've only got a few weeks left at my job before I start travel nursing. I have been holding out on my emotional breakdowns and keeping them to a Zero tally, until today.

This morning I went to get my badge changed to reflect my CEN, and the lady took my old badge and shredded it before I could protest. I would have told her I didn't want to change it, go home, and then come back tomorrow and say I lost it. But I couldn't. I wasn't quick enough, and it's gone forever. My first nursing badge. My first big girl job. My first career. Gone.

I wanted to scrapbook it. It means a lot to me, and it's gone. I'm sure I looked a hot mess when I burst into tears at the HR desk. Really I couldn't help it though. It's such a silly thing to be upset over, but it's the truth.

Sigh. If this is the start of saying goodbye, I don't know if I handle this emotionally. Cue the month long random cry-fest.


kaley said...

Don't worry. After you say goodbye enough you become dead inside!

Kelsy said...

Don't worry....I cried when they took my badge from my first nursing job too. Can't they just deactivate all the doors and equipment that badge gives us access to? What's the big deal? Goodbyes are a bitch.

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Stock fresh boxes of kleenex in your car, your locker, purse packs in pockets of outdoor coats and cardigans/lab coats you wear on floor, hide at nurse's station to take out on your shifts (not that you are selfish but the dang things are spendy). Tuck those small packets anywhere you can reach that the others cannot-i use fire extinguisher cabinet tops for this purpose only!!!

Good-byes drain our pool of emotional resources faster than any other ripple. Know you are being held up to the Universal Healing Power as you go thru this transition.

"Good-bye is too big a word, gal, so I'll just say Fare Thee well... don't think twice it's all right" -Bob Dylan