Leaving is hard. I've only got a few weeks left at my job before I start travel nursing. I have been holding out on my emotional breakdowns and keeping them to a Zero tally, until today.
This morning I went to get my badge changed to reflect my CEN, and the lady took my old badge and shredded it before I could protest. I would have told her I didn't want to change it, go home, and then come back tomorrow and say I lost it. But I couldn't. I wasn't quick enough, and it's gone forever. My first nursing badge. My first big girl job. My first career. Gone.
I wanted to scrapbook it. It means a lot to me, and it's gone. I'm sure I looked a hot mess when I burst into tears at the HR desk. Really I couldn't help it though. It's such a silly thing to be upset over, but it's the truth.
Sigh. If this is the start of saying goodbye, I don't know if I handle this emotionally. Cue the month long random cry-fest.