Comparisons

Patient: "I mean it's like ten of one, half dozen of another. Right doc?"

If you say so...

In all fairness he did realize what he said, and thought it rather amusing - which meant he was fair game to laugh at!

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PS- this is how I know my blog has the winning combination of nursing and other fun stuff:


Thank God for blog trackers.

Lessons

There is so much BAMFery in this article, you guys. And it's a serious article from Forbes.

Management lessons to learn from Star Wars.

I think the sad thing is that this is completely relevant to the managerial environment at my job right now.

Not related to nursing, in any way

Let me just get on my high horse for a minute...How in the name of all that is good did Alan Rickman NOT get nominated for an Academy Award for the role of Snape?

I spent 6.5 books trying to figure out if Snape was the baddest literary character ever, or the most bad-assed. I lost sleep over it, for reals. And then Alan Rickman comes along and is like "BOOM. I'm the biggest BAMF ever so I'm awesome for this role, or whatever."

Let's be honest here: the first couple of Harry Potter movies were average, and then they got more amazing and then Half-Blood Prince came out and I was all whoa this is phenomenal! And then Deathly Hallows part II came along, wherein I sobbed like a small child because of the sheer epicness that is Snape - thanks to Rickman.

So I'm just saying, Academy. Whiskey tango foxtrot?

Really?!

I got reprimanded by the Big Boss Lady this morning. For wearing a gray long sleeved shirt under my scrub top instead of the approved white. I'm over it. Especially since you assholes are lucky I didn't pee my pants or pass out while in triage for 12 hours, considering we never cleared the waiting room, I didn't get to make a bathroom run ever, I didn't have a tech half the night (=getting my own VS, taking patients back, crowd control, triage, and enforcer) even though I'm officially not allowed to leave the triage window at all and I didn't get a chance to eat anything.

Oh wait. I did have four girl scout cookies for lunch. We're cool; my bad.

Late night

It's four in the morning, on an extra slow night at work. I walk by the nursing station, and notice a pair of finger splints lying innocently on the workstation.

Or were they so innocent?!



Mischief abounds, and hilarity ensues.

Responsibility

There are quite a few patients whom I don't like. They are obnoxious, rude, don't care what I have to suggest regarding their health, and are disinclined to heed anything I say unless it's immediately preceded by "...and this is a magic shot which will cure your pain/diarrhea/vomiting/dizziness/drowsiness/gout."

But, and this is a big but, they are still a patient of mine. I will bitch about them in private but I will take good care of them because IT IS MY JOB. When you, Dr. Frat Boy, sign up to see this patient you are implying that you too will take care of them. Because it's your job.

When you signed up to see that patient with dizziness, facial pain, and subjective fever, you formulated a diagnosis of sinusitis before you even went in the room. You documented in your chart that you went over discharge instructions, observed the patient walking without difficulty, and heard her say she felt all better now. Unfortunately, none of this was the case as you documented all this without ever having been in the room.

Don't get all pissy at me when I call you out on this, and kindly inform you that the patient is actually so dizzy she can't walk straight. I'll advocate for this patient and tell you I think she's actually got vertigo, and when you toss med-school questions at me and ridicule me when I can't tell you the exact pathophysiology I'll just ignore you and suggest you go see the patient. Damn right I'm going to stand in the room and make you get the patient out of bed so you can see for yourself how right I am, even if I can't tell you the names of the tests used to identify this diagnosis. I'll go get that valium and meclizine right now, thanks. And I'll do all this even though I still can't stand the patient, and the patient doesn't even know or care that I fought for her.

Because it's our job.


*willful abusers of the system are excluded from the whole "deserving of respect as a patient" bit.

Masonry

My friend the nurse: Dude. DUDE. This guy just dropped an enema deuce, that poo had to be in there since at least 1990. He legitimately just shit an actual brick.

Me: That is quite impressive.

My friend the nurse: And he kept shitting! It's like one brick wasn't enough. I dunno, maybe he wanted to build a patio or something.

Double meanings

Overheard in the ER: "Hey Mr. Johnson, we're going to put this tube into your johnson."