While looking for a sono IV the other day on my no-veins dialysis patient, his adorable six year old kid piped up and excitedly asked me "is it going to be a boy or a girl?!"
All I could do was laugh. And get the hell out of the room before those parents had to explain just how babies get into people and why they most definitely won't be in dads arm.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Nursing is weird.
I think one of the weirdest things about being a nurse is the ridiculous conversations I have which would be horribly inappropriate or hilarious to laypeople but are just everyday talk to me. Today I was sitting in lab orientation, and the educator was going over using the nitrazine strips and range of values and all that. He's probably in his mid-thirties based off the comments about his young school aged kids, and was overall a funny guy who was on point with his social skillz. He seemed like the type of person who would go out with everyone post-shift and tell the best stories after he buys everyone a round. We're talking over the details of these test strips, and have a full conversation about vaginal vaults and bodily fluids and alien looking newborns and the importance of precip trays in the ER and how it's imperative to do checks on the test strips to make sure they're not expired because JCHAO.
It's just so weird to me that I can have a full conversation with a total stranger about vaginal juices and still keep a straight face while thinking about what I want for lunch, but someone farts and I'm immediately a fifteen year old boy who can't stop giggling.
Nursing is weird.
It's just so weird to me that I can have a full conversation with a total stranger about vaginal juices and still keep a straight face while thinking about what I want for lunch, but someone farts and I'm immediately a fifteen year old boy who can't stop giggling.
Nursing is weird.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Empathy
I'm a pretty crusty bastard. After seven years in nursing, I've seen a lot and unfortunately been jaded by a lot. Many things which made me cry years ago are now brushed off with a sigh and the resignation of knowing that whatever it was will most definitely happen again sometime. I make terrible jokes, I go out for happy hour (or beer breakfast, depending on the shift) and immediately have a beer with friends, and I don't answer truthfully when people ask me what the worst thing I've ever seen was. Moral of the story, I'm hardened and I know it.
But deep down, I still feel all the feels. Like, all of them. To the point that they bubble over uncontrollably when the right moment arises.
Case in point: my recent new hospital played a corporate values video during one of the orientation days, and it was fairly sad but not heartwrenching or waterworks-inducing. That said, classy and wistful piano music against a backdrop of one-line summaries of the internal thoughts and struggles of both patients and staff is apparently the only cue I need to become a blubbering mess. Seriously. Multiple tissues and trying to hide it from the rest of the orientation people.
And then I watched Inside Out last night and good lord the waterworks. Ugly crying from start to finish. It was brutal.
I guess it's a good thing though...I DO still have a heart!
But deep down, I still feel all the feels. Like, all of them. To the point that they bubble over uncontrollably when the right moment arises.
Case in point: my recent new hospital played a corporate values video during one of the orientation days, and it was fairly sad but not heartwrenching or waterworks-inducing. That said, classy and wistful piano music against a backdrop of one-line summaries of the internal thoughts and struggles of both patients and staff is apparently the only cue I need to become a blubbering mess. Seriously. Multiple tissues and trying to hide it from the rest of the orientation people.
And then I watched Inside Out last night and good lord the waterworks. Ugly crying from start to finish. It was brutal.
I guess it's a good thing though...I DO still have a heart!
Friday, November 6, 2015
Words
"I've got so many taxis in my mouth. They all hurt. Can I get a cab ticket home since y'all giving me lortab?"
If you have access to that many taxis then surely you don't need a cab voucher.
*spoiler alert: he got a cab voucher because why the hell not.
I've always been perplexed as to why people let dental conditions get so far out of hand. While I completely understand that dental care is ridiculously expensive, basic preventative care is not. Barring poor genetics, a toothbrush and some colgate goes a long way. I went for almost six years without seeing a dentist, and because I brush twice (sometimes three times) a day I had no cavities. I also had no taxis. Plus I've known plenty of people who go decades without seeing a dentist but still take care of themselves and have no issues.
And before you get on me, internet, it's the people who freely admit that they haven't brushed their teeth in years who confuse me. I'm not talking about those who brush and just can't afford dental care or inherited shitty DNA from their folks. That's another post entirely, in which I could devote a lot of words to shaming health insurance for not including dental visits.
If you have access to that many taxis then surely you don't need a cab voucher.
*spoiler alert: he got a cab voucher because why the hell not.
I've always been perplexed as to why people let dental conditions get so far out of hand. While I completely understand that dental care is ridiculously expensive, basic preventative care is not. Barring poor genetics, a toothbrush and some colgate goes a long way. I went for almost six years without seeing a dentist, and because I brush twice (sometimes three times) a day I had no cavities. I also had no taxis. Plus I've known plenty of people who go decades without seeing a dentist but still take care of themselves and have no issues.
And before you get on me, internet, it's the people who freely admit that they haven't brushed their teeth in years who confuse me. I'm not talking about those who brush and just can't afford dental care or inherited shitty DNA from their folks. That's another post entirely, in which I could devote a lot of words to shaming health insurance for not including dental visits.
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