Doctor, to the extra-bitchy twat in room 61: "Well, your pregnancy test came back positive."
Twat: "Ugh. Positive for WHAT?!
One day I woke up and realized I'm not a baby nurse anymore. I'm not even a young nurse. I'm a real adult who has now been doing this for years, and I'm definitely expected to know what I'm doing at all times. And that's fucking terrifying.