Me, to the doc who just saw my 45 year old patient presenting for two days of constipation: "Hey man, you want me to go ahead and call the fire department, or would you like to?"
Doc: "Uh, why exactly would we call for the FD?"
Me: Oh, well, you ordered an enema. I figured his butthole must be on fire, and I wanted to make sure that was taken care of by the appropriate people.
Doc: "Not funny."
Me: "Incorrect. That is hilarious. But the sentiment stands; I'm not doing a soap suds enema on this patient. You can change it to literally anything else, but unless I see flames I'm not going anywhere near him with that SSE."
I told the doc later that while I was in fact trying to be funny, I didn't want them to think I was blatantly ignoring their orders for the sake of being rude. I did, however, want them to recognize that ordering an enema as a first line constipation treatment on a completely healthy patient was ridiculous.
Seriously though, dude hadn't even taken a colace before coming in. He sure did get discharged with a bottle of mag citrate though, and NO ENEMA.