Gowns 2.0

We already know that people somehow forget how to use their brain and what sentences mean when they come into the ER. The most annoying example of this is when I ask someone to take off all of their clothing then put on a gown, and I come back three minutes later to find not only have they not taken off any their clothing but that somehow layers have been added prior to donning the gown. Seriously. People. Clothing off, gown on, in that order. It's not rocket science.

The flip side to this, however, happened to me the other night. I pulled the IV cart into the room to get things set up, and the patient hadn't changed into the gown yet. So while I'm getting IV stuff ready, I asked her to get undressed and turned around to give a smidgeon of privacy. It was really fucking cold here in Texas recently so the lady was buttoned up like a champ with extra layers on, mind you. I'm not turned around for more than fifteen seconds when she announces that she's all changed. I look back, and my god this woman has somehow managed find a space-time wormhole in which to get undressed, gowned, de-shoed, and covered back up in a blanket. She even folded her shirt and pants. Clearly she has no respect for the laws of physics because that process should have taken waaaay longer.

Again. I have no idea how on God's green earth she managed to get herself situated so quickly. Fifteen seconds. If I'm lying I'm dying. All I could think of was this: