Oh man sassy old ladies are the BEST. We had this broad last night who got tripped up by her dog and took the express route to the tile floor. Fortunately she was the rare very old lady who was magically not on blood thinners, totally alert and oriented, and also hilarious.
While the doctor was suturing her gaping eyebrow laceration back together, she hit on many topics:
"I'm so glad you're sewing me up so my brains don't ooze out of that. I've only got a few years left to hold on to them anyway, can't be careless now!"
"You don't have a ring on. Can you sew your phone number into that for me?"
"If I slip you a twenty, can you maybe just tighten up that thread a bit and make me look young and surprised?"
"Just imagine the bloody mess the other lady was when I was done with her!"
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One day I woke up and realized I'm not a baby nurse anymore. I'm not even a young nurse. I'm a real adult who has now been doing this for years, and I'm definitely expected to know what I'm doing at all times. And that's fucking terrifying.
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DISCLAIMER
HIPAA. Trust and believe, these stories are halfway made-up and halfway made up of lots of other stories. I will protect patient privacy like it's my job. Because it is.
Many of the photos showing mundane things are ones I took. As for memes and other google picture search images, I've been horribly bad at photo crediting - I will be attempting to go back through and properly credit things or remove them if I can't. But rest assured, ain't no real patient pictures up here, folks.
While I appreciate those reading the blog, I don't advertise for any website. I can only be responsible for my own opinion, and thus politely decline any offer to "host a post" or otherwise advertise something not written by me...But thanks anyway!
Many of the photos showing mundane things are ones I took. As for memes and other google picture search images, I've been horribly bad at photo crediting - I will be attempting to go back through and properly credit things or remove them if I can't. But rest assured, ain't no real patient pictures up here, folks.
While I appreciate those reading the blog, I don't advertise for any website. I can only be responsible for my own opinion, and thus politely decline any offer to "host a post" or otherwise advertise something not written by me...But thanks anyway!
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2 comments:
What a lovely lady. I married an older woman in an attempt to reform my lifelong foolishness, but I think it backfired and I converted her to a foolette. We are still best friends..so I guess that's all that really matters.
OMG, this could be me. I turn into a comedian at any medical facility. I do hope I don't need to use her lines though.
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