23 yo male. 3:30 am. Chief complaint: "I started work at UPS yesterday and was lifting boxes all day, and I couldn't sleep tonight because my legs hurt." Pain: 10/10. Did not take anything for pain.
600 mg of motrin and you're out the door, bucko.
His parting shot? "Can I have a work note? Because I have to be to work in 4 hours and I don't think I can make it with this pain."
If only I could punch my patients.