Of yardsales and bankrobbing

Dear friends, I know life has been tragic without new posts on this blog for you to read. I apologize for that, but try and hold those tears in. Because I've been having fun for the past two weeks, and haven't given this blog half a thought in that time. Also because my computer is about to blow up and sometimes won't even load the google page. I'll hopefully be buying a new one soon, if I can rob a bank and get away with the money- The Joker style, yo. But I digress.

That being said, I had a wonderful end to my externship. I am astounded when I look back and see how much I learned in 8 short weeks. I've been really blessed to have this opportunity, and I'll always be grateful for the great staff that taught me so much.

I'm now gearing up for school to start in a week and a half. By "gearing up" I mean avoiding all thoughts of school and dreading the very idea of it. After spending 8 weeks helping people not die, classroom instruction will most likely be rather boring. The subject matters aren't looking too exciting either. Community/Leadership? I'd rather lose a toe to frostbite. Psych? I need to look no further than the crazies my own family provides on a regular basis. Critical Care Elective? Okay I'm looking forward to that one, but that's the only one.

Since my externship ended two weeks ago, I've managed to have a bit of a life. I'm rather proud of that fact. I've been to three concerts so far: Dave Matthews, John Butler Trio/G.Love, and Braddigan; they've all been quite excellent. I've managed to spend a week at my parents house and their very convenient pool, with the result that I am now at much higher risk for skin cancer. At least I'm mildly pigmented now - given that even plastic bottles can give you cancer nowadays, I'll take the sun-induced variety anyday. I also spent a lot of time wakeboarding, and even more time falling down on a wakeboard. As my brother informed me, to "yardsale" is to eat it so disgracefully that the board is ripped from your feet and you're left bobbing twenty meters away from it. I'll admit that I spent a lot of time being forcefully detached from the boots this past week. I still have water in my ears.

On the nerdy side, I've read a bunch of excellent books the past few weeks. Stiff is one I highly recommend, as it is all about a rather morbid topic but written by a scathingly funny author. What happens to human bodies when people die, you wonder? Read this book and find out. I'll even include a nice little excerpt for you, to pique your interest (or disgust you, take your pick):

"Until that time, it'll be rough going for Commonwealth land mine types, who cannot use whole cadavers. Researchers in the UK have resorted to testing boots on amputated legs...another group tried putting a new type of protective boot onto the hind leg of a mule deer for testing. Given that deer lack toes and heels and people lack hooves, and that no country I know of employs mule deer in land mine clearance, it is hard - though mildly entertaining - to try to imagine what the value of such a study could have been."

I just finished reading Watchmen -it was fantastic - and now I'm even more pumped for the movie to come out. The book I bought tonight is entitled "Death by Black Hole and other Cosmic Quandries." If that doesn't solidify my status as a bona fide nerd, I don't know what will. At least this book is humorous, or so the blurbs on the inside cover indicate. One thing I am not pumped about, however, is the fact that the HP movie was bumped from November to next July. Not cool, Warner Bros., not cool. The Twilight movie got moved up to fill Harry's spot, but I've decided that Twilight is going to suck a big one, and thus I'm not all that excited for it anymore.

To wrap this piece up, I'm looking forward to a few other upcoming events, and then it's goodbye to summer. I'm getting depressed already, but hopefully this semester won't suck too bad. Then I graduate, and then I get a job, and then I get paid - Maybe I won't have to rob that bank after all!

Particle Collider. Cool!

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) particle collider (at CERN, on the French-Swiss border) is set to send its first beam of protons around the ring on September 10. They will accelerate two beams of protons up to about the speed of light, using a track almost 17 miles long, then smash them into each other to see what happens. Possible results? Black holes, new particle elements, dark matter research, and the ever scary total annihilation of Earth. I think that's pretty cool, myself. Well, except for the Earth Annihilation part, but scientists say that won't happen.
Check out the news story here, and check out how small this dude is in the picture. See him at the bottom? Cool place to be...not cool place to be if something goes wrong!

I love the Harry Potter books. I like the Harry Potter movies. I don't love how the movies usually suck, since the books are so excellent. This movie, however, looks like it will be fantastic.

For your viewing pleasure, I bring you the trailer for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince:

No, surely not me!

I'm person who will usually spout off just about whatever I'm thinking. I won't hesitate to chase off a rapist or stare down a creepy person following me on the street. I have no verbal filter, so sarcastic comments fly like, well, flies. I don't usually lose my temper, and I'm pretty easy going about most things. Not a whole lot bothers me. When it comes to people I know, however, I'll avoid a confrontation like it's my job.

But given the opportunity to be passive aggressive, I'm all over that junk! So you ate half my bag of cheetos? No worries. I'll just duct tape the bag shut next time and carefully listen for the sound of you opening it. You get the picture.

Imagine my joy when I found this website! PassiveAggressiveNotes.com is where it's at. Now I'm not nearly as PA as many of these people...but that doesn't stop me from getting a pretty big kick out of it. Seriously, give it a read. It's hilarious.

And if you have a negative opinion on this post, I'll avoid saying anything about it. I'll just passive aggressively delete your comment :)

Define "mortified"

Nerd (n) slang- a person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

Geek (n) slang - a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp. one who is perceived to be overly intellectual; a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders).

Dork (n) slang - a stupid, inept, or foolish person; a penis (I kid you not, it's in the American Heritage Dictionary!)

I've often called myself a nerd, but I only just today got around to actually looking up the definitions of various words used to describe people like me. I have to say, I don't think any of them sum me up adequately.

I'm mostly a nerd, I suppose, since I love all things science, space, history, and well-written books. I don't quite see where the "accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits" comes in since I'm not that good at anything in particular. Socially inept can certainly apply in some cases, though. Geek doesn't apply that much either, since I don't think I'm dislikable and I'm nowhere near computer expert. In fact, sometimes I think I'm mildly retarded when it comes to all things electronic. And dork definitely doesn't apply...though I may be foolish occasionally (who isn't?) I am definitely not a penis.

So I am not sure which definitive category loving Star Wars, LotR, Harry Potter, astrophysics, the History Channel, nursing, and novels puts me into. Use your own judgement, I suppose.

*****

I bring all this up because I was at a book opening last night. I usually take pride in the fact that I'm who I am, nerdiness and all. But at Barnes & Noble last night for the Breaking Dawn release, I wanted nothing more than to hide under my car so no one could see me. Harry Potter releases were tame compared to this. Standing in line next to 15 year old girls in full prom outfits, sparkles, and posters was mortifying. There was even a cashier in full face makeup - as a werewolf. I tried not to make eye contact with anyone, lest they try to strike up a conversation. I bet that conversation would go something like this:

Giggly goth girl in short black prom dress: "OMG OMG! He is so hot! I love Edward, he is perfect OMG he's like the man of my dreams you must love him too because you came at midnight to get the book OMG we're like bff now!"

Me: "Um, I came at midnight because I work the nightshift and I was awake anyway. But I'll give the books a shot."

GGGISBPD: "OMG you totally are in love with him, aren't you?"

Me: Who?

GGGISBPD: "Edwaaaaaard!

Me: "With a fictional character? No, I prefer my crushes to actually exist."

GGGISBPD: "You don't love him? You're not a real fan. You should not have come here tonight. You will regret this action."

At this point she would sound a battle call to all the other 15 year old pimply prom dressed girls in line, shout that I am surely a spy sent in to search and destroy their fanbase, and I would be demolished by the furious horde. It wouldn't be pretty. I bet the newspaper headlines wouldn't be kind to me.

At any rate, I would rather avoid a fate like that. So I kept my mouth shut and eyes to myself, got a handful of real books plus the one on sale, and got the F out of there. I may be a nerd, but at least you won't ever catch me dressing up for a midnight book release and pining away for a man who only exists in size 12 Times New Roman.