Survey

I recently took my car in to get the standard oil change, no big deal. It's just an oil change, not very exciting, really. I mean, I was outta there in less than a half hour.

So I get a phone call today from the car company regarding the quality of the service...and I am quickly losing faith in the human population.

Survey Guy: On a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being the poorest, 2 being fair, 3 being satisfactory, 4 being above average and 5 being excellent, how would you rank the quality of your car servicing?

Me: Uh, 5 I guess.

Survey Guy: On a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being the poorest, 2 being fair, 3 being satisfactory, 4 being above average and 5 being excellent, how would you rank the staff performing the maintenance?

Me: 5.

Survey Guy: On a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being the poorest, 2 being fair, 3 being satisfactory, 4 being above average and 5 being excellent, how would you rank the outcome of your car maintenance?

Me: They just changed my oil. So 5.

Survey Guy: On a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being the poorest, 2 being fair, 3 being satisfactory, 4 being above average and 5 being excellent, how would you rank the overall experience?

Me: 5.

Survey Guy: On a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being the poorest, 2 being fair, 3 being satisfactory, 4 being above average and 5 being excellent, how would you rank the overall quality of We Make Great Cars?

Me: Sigh. 5.

Survey Guy: On a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being the poorest, 2 being fair, 3 being satisfactory, 4 being above average and 5 being excellent, how would you rank the likelihood that you will return to We Make Great Cars in the future?

Me: pause...1.

Survey Guy: Thank you very much for your time. Would you consider providing your email address to We Make Great Cars so that we could email you a survey regarding your experiences during your routine maintenance?

Me: Thanks, but no thanks.

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I don't know whether to laugh or cry.