So I'm a terrible cook. I can potentially set the smoke alarm off by making pancakes. Make a three course meal? Chyeah right. Recently though I've been trying my hand at baking.
The verdict? Let's find out.
First, I make the dough. No wait, first I pour a glass of wine or two. Ah, yes, now we can get started.
I make the dough. I have some confidence about this thing. Right now, I feel like I could take on the whole kitchen by myself. Hey, the raw dough tastes normal! As normal as raw dough should, I guess.
Next I roll the dough out. Since I'm lacking a rolling pin, the wine bottle from earlier this week will suffice. I hope. Hmm. The dough is a little flaky. Not like Mom's cookies usually start...But whatever. I've got some awesome cookie cutters, and I'm already invested in this project. The dough gets cut and placed on cookie sheets. Minus the parchment paper, because that I forgot to buy. It's not my fault! Well okay, it is.
Minutes later, they're done! And...they look a little pale. I hope they're tasty. Imma tell you the rest of the story, but first I've got to scoop them up with my Darth Vader spatula.
And the final product! Okay so they taste subpar, but let's be real. These cookies are badass.
Now I know how I got so big. It's eating food of this kind.
The possibility of me successfully learning how to cook is approximately 3,720 to 1.