Monday, January 10, 2011

Obi-Wan never told you who ate your cookies

So I'm a terrible cook. I can potentially set the smoke alarm off by making pancakes. Make a three course meal? Chyeah right. Recently though I've been trying my hand at baking.

The verdict? Let's find out.

First, I make the dough. No wait, first I pour a glass of wine or two. Ah, yes, now we can get started.

I make the dough. I have some confidence about this thing. Right now, I feel like I could take on the whole kitchen by myself. Hey, the raw dough tastes normal! As normal as raw dough should, I guess.

Next I roll the dough out. Since I'm lacking a rolling pin, the wine bottle from earlier this week will suffice. I hope. Hmm. The dough is a little flaky. Not like Mom's cookies usually start...But whatever. I've got some awesome cookie cutters, and I'm already invested in this project. The dough gets cut and placed on cookie sheets. Minus the parchment paper, because that I forgot to buy. It's not my fault! Well okay, it is.

Minutes later, they're done! And...they look a little pale. I hope they're tasty. Imma tell you the rest of the story, but first I've got to scoop them up with my Darth Vader spatula.

And the final product! Okay so they taste subpar, but let's be real. These cookies are badass.

Now I know how I got so big. It's eating food of this kind.

The possibility of me successfully learning how to cook is approximately 3,720 to 1.


newnurseinthehood said...

What!? You are clearly an effin" genius. Me and the husband were trying to make spinach puff pastries when we realized we didn't have a rolling pin and I just improvised with my hand which was an epic fail. Using a bottle of wine? That is some fast thinking right there. And yes, those cookies are awesome.

Zazzy Episodes said...

How awesome are these cookies! Looks like you are a newbie to baking with the excellent condition of your spatula and cookie sheet, but how creative is the outcome. Every time I make sugar cookies and I cut them out, I lose the uniqueness of the cookie when it comes to frosting because my patience is done and I say oh well. Good for you for giving it a try, keep it up.

GuitarGirlRN said...

Darth Vader cookies should taste like burning electronics. Storm Trooper cookies should all taste exactly the same, because they're clones.

AWESOME COOKIES! I want those cookie cutters.

shrtstormtrooper said...

The cutters and spatula were both Christmas gifts, and apparently Williams-Sonoma has a whole SW line of baking goods. Who knew?!

SHR said...

I think your attempt and end product are awesome but I'll give you my secret dough recipe and next time they'll be perfect instead of a little flakey! Cool tools!

Pissed Off Patient said...

Those are fun! I keep eying those cookie cutters thinking I should get them, but the last thing I need is sugar.