Things I have learned tonight:
1. When leaving the apartment and noticing it's a full moon on an almost-friday night...assume it will be hellish. Only working a princess 9p-3a shift? Doesn't matter. Asses will still get handed over.
2. Seeing the assignment sheet and realizing I'm mental health for four hours isn't a vacation, due to the aforementioned full moon. I might as well have hung a banner on the back of my car that said "Drunkards! Psycotics! Drug addicts! Drunkpscycaddits! I am the piper so follow me!!!!"
3. In theory I know a calcium channel blocker overdose is bad...but in practice I now know it's baaaaaaaaddddd. I don't think I've seen such a quick unstoppable train wreck. Ever. First time I've had this type of patient, and I'll damn sure remember it.
4. If a patient vomits into a basin with enough force, the splashback can travel amazingly far.
5. Bringing a cup of delicious coffee, perfectly prepared, is better known as Hubris. Punishment should be expected and you still won't get to drink the coffee.
6. The neon gas station signs called to me on the way home, and nothing is as fantastic tasting as a cream-cheese filled pretzel served up by the shadiest attendant of all time. It was probably seasoned with anthrax or dandruff or dried vomit flakies, but I don't even care. Not one bit.