Friday, August 17, 2012

Rule #2: The Double Tap

You guys, the History Channel is a dangerous thing. I was innocently watching a show about pandemic illness and the collapse of modern society (I know, just some light entertainment) and that got me thinking about the Zombie Apocalypse. I'm convinced this is how the world is going to end and damn if I'm going to be caught unprepared. Even if the world doesn't end by Zombies eating your face off it's still probably going to devolve into chaos at some point and survival skills will be necessary. Just think Zombieland, or maybe Mad Max.

Thoughts like these inevitably lead to the interwebz and suddenly I found myself researching state knife laws (switchblades are a no-no, fixed blade knives mostly can be carried but have to be in plain sight, most penknives are okay regardless of length), the proper amount of bleach to water ratio (10 drops for a gallon of non-cloudy water, 20 if it's cloudy. Let it sit for 30 minutes, 60 if it's real cold), useful plants to recognize for food and medicinal uses (spirae seems particularly nice to know), and farming skills (well, 3 out of 4 isn't bad).

I then ransacked my closet to see what survival products I had. Fortunately, I have plenty of hiking clothes and shoes, a serious backpack and additional daypack, water jugs, and a small ration of useful medications. Unfortunately when I went travel nursing a lot of my camping or hiking supplies were stored in my parents attic - things like tents, cooking utensils, and fire-making implements. Far away and not at all useful to me if disaster strikes, in other words. A lot of the other supplies are lacking too. Which makes me hope the end of civilization holds off for a couple more years until I'm done with this travel nursing gig; I'm not trying to get arrested for having a bowie knife when crossing a state line.

It's weird to think about the end of civilization. Even weirder is that I find myself thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the end of civilization. I don't really believe it's going to happen anytime soon, but there's always that thought of what-if. I don't want to be caught with my figurative pants down. This doesn't mean I'm going full out and building a bomb shelter with large quantities of useful stuff...but I might try to make friends with someone who did. Be Prepared, y'all. Girl Scout Motto. And also, know the rules.

Personally I'm holding out for the Zombieland scenario because then I get the badass name of Winchester. Seriously, that's the best possible nickname to have short of being born in the town of Smithandwesson.

But whatever. I think I'll just have a beer and go back to watching the History Channel. Programming has moved on to conspiracy theories, anyway.


BossNurse said...

You've got to read Mira Grant's "The Newsflesh Trilogy". First book is "Feed". I couldn't put them down! Bloggers and zombies and conspiracies, oh my!

Mark p.s.2 said...

No one will live long after a pandemic.
The reason is nuclear power plants.
You know they have used radioactive fuel rods? They have to keep the waste cool, as in refrigerated 24/7 for several years.
Two weeks after the pandemic ( with no electricity) the backup generators that run the cooling systems will run out of fuel .
Then the radioactive waste piles will overheat and explode radioactive sh*t for miles around.

Then who ever is still alive will die from the radiation poisoning.

Anonymous said...

Your blog is hilarious! But, if for some reason we do have an apocalyptic overtaking, I too am hoping that it is a Zombie Land-esk scenerio where I can dust off the camping gear, put a crash-bar on the truck and head out in search of Pacific Playland! Oh.. and maybe even see "Bill f*$king Murry!" Thanks for the posts, their great!

-New Trauma Nurse Chris