With gusto

You guys. Seriously. I was more giddy inside tonight at work than I've been in a loooong while. Usually, when the drama queens and man-babies show up in the ER with their nonexistent peripheral access sites (from lots of IV drug use) and their retch-moan-squirm routine (with VS more normal than mine) and lots of "vomicking," I have to hunt around foreeeever for an IV site. Takes me a couple of attempts and finally I get a 24G in their pinky and draw some pedi tubes of blood, which are inevitably hemolyzed.

But tonight. Oh, tonight I had an epiphany. I was standing in the room of one such patient, and internally bitching about the IV/labs/cultures x2 I had to draw off this epic man-baby. I looked at his arms, and then I happened to catch a glimpse of his big fat juicy EJ. No, I sadly thought, I'm not allowed to do EJs. Home Hospital didn't allow nurses to do them, even though my RN license says I can.

And then it hit me. I'm in TEXAS, MF'ERS! Ain't no rules against nurse initiated EJs at this hospital! I double checked with another nurse, and sho'nuff we're allowed to start them*.

I grabbed that 18G and threw the EJ in so fast it made my head spin. I had a set of cultures, full blood tubes, and a bamf IV line in like fourteen seconds. And it was so satisfying. I mean really...what is more enjoyable than telling your drama patient to hold still because you're about to shove a giant-ass needle into his neck? And the feeling of actually doing it? Glorious. Epic. Sublime.

The best part? I've never done one before but damn if I haven't watched a million ER docs place them and think "I could do that!" And apparently I can. But wait, I lied. The best part was actually when I went to the doc a while later for unrelated reasons, and he was like "man those labs were quick...where the hell did you find a line on him?" I'm all "oh, I just threw in an EJ. No biggie, son."

Boom. New skill. Acquired, suckahs.

*technically, one is required to have 3 supervised EJ starts before flying the nest. Oops. Good thing I'm a traveler and fall through those cracks!