Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Holiday cheers.

Dude. I know you'd rather be anywhere but the ER on Christmas Eve. Me too. I'd rather be home with family going to the midnight service or opening an early gift or drinking a festive holiday brew with manfriend. But YOU, sir, are the one who called the ambulance because you had a medical problem. When the ambulance got there and you reported that your issue had resolved completely, EMS gave you the choice of coming in to be checked out anyway or staying home. Let me repeat: they gave you the choice.

YOU, sir, are the one who decided to flip a coin to decide whether or not you were going to come in and be evaluated. So when you lost the coin flip (to yourself) you hopped in the back of the big square box and rolled on in to my ER. Whereupon you announced to everyone within shouting distance that you'd rather not be here, you can't pay for the ER visit, and that you don't want anything done. In fact, you'd rather sign out AMA because "we can't do shit since I already fixed itself."

YOU, sir, are the one who then was promptly escorted off the property after signing your AMA form because you were threatening to kill the paramedic who brought you in because "they forced me here! I mean, I flipped a coin but they won! They made me do it!"

YOU, sir, are the one not getting a taxi voucher back to your house for this totally unnecessary waste of resources. Yes, you may indeed take this up with my house supervisor. Here's the number.

Sometimes I can't believe people are so dumb. But then again...most of the time I can.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you all have a great year to come, and I hope beyond all hope you never cause me to write a blog post by being dumb. Please, don't be dumb.

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