Tuesday, June 17, 2014


There is this doc I work with who is super badass. He's no nonsense, only-the-necessary-workup type, funny, compassionate, and intelligent. I seriously enjoy working with him because he's the best mix of all of the above, and gets shit done in a timely manner to boot. Basically, an ER nurses' dreamboat of a doc. I mean that not in a Tiger Beat weird way, but in a professional "I enjoy coming to work and seeing this doc on the schedule" kind of way because I know the patients will be well taken care of and I also won't hate my life during the shift.

He does, however, have one downside.

Every single shift sees him wearing these awful, hideous, terrible ACIDWASHED JEAN material scrubs. It's so painful. Is this the 90's? These scrubs are the equivalent of me putting a VHS tape into the VCR and the machine eating the tape. Or of hearing the devastating news that *NSYNC has broken up fo' eva. Possibly as bad as having a Lisa Frank folder that didn't fit into your trapper keeper.

All I'm saying is that this doc somehow stopped dressing himself in the 90's. And a very small part of me is amused by it, but the vast majority of me is like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the horror! I wish I could help. I think, however, that he is too far gone to save.


Aesop said...

1) Art supply, drawing, and craft stores sell indelible drawing ink in glass bottles. It does, in fact, even come in blood red.
2) 20cc syringe, 18g needle, with the point snapped off cleanly at the base with your trusty Kelly hemostat, makes a phenomenal squirt gun.
3) Wear gloves, and don't out yourself by getting any on you.
4) If you're any kind of good, they never feel the impact.
5) Have a handy complete set of new scrubs in the doc's sizes "conveniently" in a bag squirreled nearby in the ED.

Don't ask me how I know this works. But I promise you'll never see the scrubs again once they look like props from Dexter.
Just commit to the comedy.

I also understand that the same trick works with normal saline instead of ink, in case someone you know needs a dark spot on their scrubs to indicate they might have waitied to long to take a potty break.

At least, that's what I've heard.

And if work isn't a little bit of fun once in awhile, why bother?

Orfyn RN said...

Who cares if the gift is in a crummy wrapper? Appreciate the gift. Many men (my self included) do not share the female fashion gene. We dress with what is comfortable (physically and mentally). Yes, my wife often insists on dressing me.