Friday, October 10, 2014

A Dialogue in the ER

"Alrighty, you've been discharged and we can't let you sleep here all night long. Sorry, but you've got to go," I say.

She responds, "where is the nearest bus stop?" I answer that it's about a quarter mile away, north up the street, and kindly hold the door open for her. "Can you push me there in a wheelchair so I don't have to walk?" she asks.

"Um, no."

"Fine bitch," she responds, "then I need a coffee with cream and sugar, and a sandwich bag."


Security is next to enter the scene.

"Imma mess you up, I know where you live! I'm gonna give you Ebola!" she shouts as security escorts her out on foot. The sound of her screeching fades as the doors slide shut, and I wearily sign up my name to the next patient coming into my group. Abdominal pain, the chief complaint says. And in the triage note I see their first request is for some juice.

End scene.


Aesop said...

"Plus ca change..."

Funny how they never cover this endless loop in clinical, huh?

Anonymous said...

Jeebus! She be's givin' you the Ebola! Stand back!

Seriously, I feel for you. You're awesome!

Henry Jon said...
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