Precepting

So the bosses at work, in all their infinite wisdom, apparently decided that I'd be a good fit for training a new grad into the ER. I guess that means I haven't screwed up too badly there yet? Adapting to a new hospital is always hard, and that makes the feeling of "am I actually good at this, or just good at faking?" a little harder to shake. Even after eight years of nursing and multiple rounds of precepting (mostly travelers and other experienced nurses, but a couple of new grads too), there's always a little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I've still got a long ways to go before I don't suck at nursing.

I went through a pretty intense year or two of impostor syndrome back when I was a relatively new nurse. Most days I came home and felt that any good thing I had done at work was owed to the abilities of my charge nurses, coworkers, or just good luck. Gradually, I felt more comfortable with most things but that little nagging feeling has never completely gone away. People tell me that it's a good feeling to have, because it means that I still care about the profession and that I'm not allowing myself to become complacent. I can understand that, but I wonder if other people still feel this way even after so long?

So tell me, do any of you feel this way too?

Me-owch (I'm pretty pleased with this blog post title)

One of my favorite doctors at work is apparently very naive when it comes to standard vagina-slang. Case in point:

After the doctor and I saw a patient presenting with vaginal burning and urinary frequency, I asked if he wanted me to put in for a veterinarian consult. I was met with a confused look from him with immediate snickering from the other docs and scribes around.

Doc: "Uhhhhhhh..."

Me: "You know, for her kitty cat problems?"

Swear to you guys, this patient referred to her vagina as her "kitty cat" at least three times during the doc's exam. It seems that in all his years of doctoring he's somehow never heard this term, which I'm totally okay with because it makes for these little moments of hilarity. And let's be real, it's these moments which make working in the flaming dumpster fire that is today's healthcare system even a bit tolerable.

Give me sugar...in water...

Last night, I came the closest I've ever been to peeing my pants at work. I didn't even have to pee, either - it was 100% scare related. Let me explain.

As I was giving report off to a coworker just before I danced out the door at 0300, she very insistently leans over and says, "pick your feet up."

You know that tone of voice where someone goes from jovial to deadly serious in a nanosecond, but is also trying to keep it together so as not to panic someone? That same tone of voice when you spot a loose puppy trying to run out in traffic but you don't want to yell at them to come back because it will just freak them out? Yeah, that's the one. You understand.

Anyway, coworker gets a look on her face with that voice tone and even though we had just been laughing about something stupid I instantly knew she wasn't messing around and picked my feet up. Of course, I then look down to see why.

THE BIGGEST COCKROACH I'VE EVER SEEN WAS ABOUT TO CRAWL UP MY LEG.

I let out the most embarrassing sound, tried to push my rolling chair away from the desk and simultaneously stomp the bejeesus out of that monster while not touching it. Fortunately, the cockroach scurried away in the same direction as my chair, I leapt out and smushed it into a million bits.

I'm very certain that if it had crawled up my pant leg, I would have screamed and cried and peed my pants. And wouldn't that be a blog story to tell...

thanks for the gif!