Thursday, May 25, 2017

Precepting

So the bosses at work, in all their infinite wisdom, apparently decided that I'd be a good fit for training a new grad into the ER. I guess that means I haven't screwed up too badly there yet? Adapting to a new hospital is always hard, and that makes the feeling of "am I actually good at this, or just good at faking?" a little harder to shake. Even after eight years of nursing and multiple rounds of precepting (mostly travelers and other experienced nurses, but a couple of new grads too), there's always a little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I've still got a long ways to go before I don't suck at nursing.

I went through a pretty intense year or two of impostor syndrome back when I was a relatively new nurse. Most days I came home and felt that any good thing I had done at work was owed to the abilities of my charge nurses, coworkers, or just good luck. Gradually, I felt more comfortable with most things but that little nagging feeling has never completely gone away. People tell me that it's a good feeling to have, because it means that I still care about the profession and that I'm not allowing myself to become complacent. I can understand that, but I wonder if other people still feel this way even after so long?

So tell me, do any of you feel this way too?


1 comment:

Aesop said...

I have twenty-plus years in nursing, and seventeen in the ER, in the busiest ERs in the US, hence the world, and there are still days where I wonder if I'll ever be as good all the time as I am some of the time.

You are not alone. We are always out harshest critics.

Keep on not sucking.