One of my coworkers was telling me about a little old demented granny she took care of the other day. This LOL kept trying to climb out of bed, and even though we set the bed to the lowest ortho height possible it still wouldn't be a desirable outcome to fall and break a hip. My coworker tried everything she could think of to keep this lady in bed - but that granny was DETERMINED to get out of bed so she could make it to the salon for her manicure.
I'm not even lying. That was the reason for the great escape attempts.
After many failed attempts at redirection, my coworker finally decided to go get a bowl of warm water, a surgical scrub brush, and some soap. She sat there for ten minutes and scrubbed this lady's fingernails, put a bit of lotion on her hands, and then towel dried them.
It was like there was a new patient in the bed. She was calm, cooperative, and decided to take a nap after the manicure. I am a big fan of this coworker of mine, and it's for reasons like this. Also if I ever need a manicure, I know who to go to.
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One day I woke up and realized I'm not a baby nurse anymore. I'm not even a young nurse. I'm a real adult who has now been doing this for years, and I'm definitely expected to know what I'm doing at all times. And that's fucking terrifying.
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DISCLAIMER
HIPAA. Trust and believe, these stories are halfway made-up and halfway made up of lots of other stories. I will protect patient privacy like it's my job. Because it is.
Many of the photos showing mundane things are ones I took. As for memes and other google picture search images, I've been horribly bad at photo crediting - I will be attempting to go back through and properly credit things or remove them if I can't. But rest assured, ain't no real patient pictures up here, folks.
While I appreciate those reading the blog, I don't advertise for any website. I can only be responsible for my own opinion, and thus politely decline any offer to "host a post" or otherwise advertise something not written by me...But thanks anyway!
Many of the photos showing mundane things are ones I took. As for memes and other google picture search images, I've been horribly bad at photo crediting - I will be attempting to go back through and properly credit things or remove them if I can't. But rest assured, ain't no real patient pictures up here, folks.
While I appreciate those reading the blog, I don't advertise for any website. I can only be responsible for my own opinion, and thus politely decline any offer to "host a post" or otherwise advertise something not written by me...But thanks anyway!
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3 comments:
I can see why you are a fan. I bow to her superior mind.
Patients falling out of bed has been a problem since the early days of nursing. While gazing out the front window of my 3rd floor apartment in one of Chicago's near-do-well neighborhoods a solution presented itself right before my very eyes. On a vacant lot a colorful cast of folks forced into repairing their old jalopies by lack of finances dug a trench about 6 feet deep. They drove their vehicle over the trench for repairs, crawled in and went to work. Cars can fall off expensive garage lifts just a patients fall out of overpriced hospital beds.
The solution to bed falls is simple. Get rid of the beds and convert the floor of the room to a mattress-like sleeping/resting surface. Nurses provide care from retractable floor panels that reveal care giver pits about 3-4 feet deep. There is a Nobel prize out their just waiting for someone to implement my fall safe hospital room!
That is actually a really damn brilliant plan! I'll come up with the necessary best method of cleaning said trench from all manner of bodily fluids, pair with you in some admin poster board presentation, and I think we have ourselves a winning plan here!
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