Friday, December 4, 2009


"I have cramps and I have endometriosis really bad. I get percocets for the pain. My pain is a 10/10 right now."

I see. So what did you take for your pain today?

"I took a tylenol yesterday, but they don't never work."

Apparently that bag of cheez-its you're plowing through at 0300 isn't helping either. Face, meet palm. I should also mention that she was wearing skinny jeans and 5 inch heels, texting the entire time, and sucking down a pepsi like it was the last one on Earth. Oh, and had visited the ER six times in three months for cramps...that math just doesn't add up.

Without hesitation, the PA wrote her a prescription for to-go 5 percocet, plus a script for 14 more. For. Cramping. I called the PA up and told him I wasn't giving it. He could if he wanted, but I wasn't doing it. After soundly berating my decision, he ended up giving her the discharge stuff and doing the teaching himself.

Whatever. At least when she comes in at the age of 35, cracked out and addicted to all sorts of painkillers and whatnot, my conscience will be clear.


PurpleRN said...

Having not been there myself, I can't speak to the character of the person in question.

However, being a life-long uterus owner, I can tell you that there have been days where only Vicodin makes my uterus stop trying to wrestle its way out.

shrtstormtrooper said...

This chick was sitting on the bed, fully clothed in 5 inch heels and extra tight jeans, texting the entire time, and drinking a pepsi while eating a bag of cheetos when she came in during the middle of the night.

If she had put sweatpants on, or had it not been her sixth visit in three months for the same even though she has a primary...I might have believed her.

Might have.

I have a uterus too, and when it acts up, the last thing I want near me is skinny jeans. :)

PurpleRN said...

Mmmm. Touche :)

Filia Dei said...

I had to show my driver's liscense the other day to buy Tylenol Cold at Target?!? I'm just sayin'.

Em said...

At least she's visiting for the same complaint. Could be chronic. And to a chronic pain patient, for those unlucky to truly be pain patients, 19 percocets isn't much at all.