Listen, I really like beards. A beard on a guy is like life's little bonus. I think every guy should have one, unless all they can grow is a few scraggly hairs. That's maybe the only situation in which to avoid a beard. At any rate, I'm not sure why I like beards so much, though I can postulate many theories.
My Dad did have a full beard when I was little. I was born in West Virginia. Beards are a sign of manliness. Beards are like coats for the face. Wolverine has facial hair. Lumberjacks have beards. Wolverine was a lumberjack!!
But I digress. Those who know me will laugh at this post and say, "Sloshy Larry, you're such a man." Which isn't true. To be a man, I'd have to want a beard for myself. I don't. I just want for myself a man who has a decent beard.
I know this is a silly post. But it emphasizes the greatness of beards, and thus I have nothing to apologize for.
At any rate, I just really love beards. Laugh if you must, but know that I stand firm in my adoration. Also, Sloshy Larry explanation to follow soon. I know you're excited.