I meant to say...

Overheard tonight in the ER:

Fun Young Doc: Okay, it starts off all loose and floppy, so Shrtstormtrooper here will hold it, and then we'll wrap it and it will get real hard.

I died a little inside. We were splinting the broken wrist of an 11 year old boy. Who just got his first lesson in reproductive planning.

3 years!

Happy Birthday to me! I've just realized this blog is exactly three years old. I hope you've enjoyed this learning process as much as I have, and I hope I have plenty of blog years ahead of me where I can share my continued growth with you all.

Thanks for sticking around and reading my sometimes slightly amusing drivel. I really appreciate it!

Another case of American Blind Justice

This song is called "Alice's Restaurant." It's about Alice, and the Restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant, that's just the name of the song. Thats why I called the song "Alice's Restaurant..."





Kid, I'm telling you. Thanksgiving isn't the same without listening to this.

I went there.

Vader vs. Voldemort. Badass helmet vs some sheets. It's quality.

Movember

I'm totally stealing this from Toronto Emerg who, by the way, does not kick dogs. I think. At least, I would hope not.

Cancer however, both loves Glenn Beck and hates Nachos. And kicked a dog once.

So ladies...

Harry.

It. Was. Epic.



Go see it now.

Drunk

Drugged Drunks are either the absolute best or soul crushingly worst patients to take care of. The best ones make you giggle nonstop for three hours, require no mental effort tougher than an IV and catheter placement, and take up a bed for the evening. The ones that crush your soul are the career drunks, the ones that piss on the floor because they can't tolerate a catheter...twice. They vomit multiple times, scream obscenities at you, and occasionally require 4point restraints because they're cracked out. Sometimes they are actually sick, and it's tough to pick out what is true medical illness and what is the whiskey. Always they are belligerent.

Tonight, I was lucky. I had one of the enjoyable drunks. Found wandering in a parking lot, we knew he was on something due to the tachycardia and pupils the size of small plates. He also wouldn't stop talking, but wasn't putting together a coherent thought. He speech wasn't slurred, just nonsensical. And it was great!

He had everyone laughing, from the state police who EP'ed him, the charge nurse 20 feet away at the desk, the entire staff in the room, and even the patient next door. I guess I feel a little bad for giggling at the ridiculous things he was saying, but oh well. He was funny. He was also the politest drunk I've ever taken care of. "Thank you" came out of his mouth at least 6 times a minute. Sometimes appropriately, sometimes not. For example, during the straight cath, he screams "OW OW OW OW OW THANK YOU OW!"

During the IV start: That hurts a little bit thank you are you going to the party?

During the attempted initial assessment: I was outside because there was this party, and it was a good party, and I was going to it thank you thank you and then I was outside and then I was going to the party but it wasn't a party. Thank you.

During a moment of silence when no one was looking at him: Thank you. HEY! Thank you!

During the moment when he asked if we were laughing at him, after I responded that I was, a little bit: Oh. Thank you!

Oh, the joys of being intoxicated and smoking something laced with something else. While he is lucky he didn't wander into the street and get hit by a car, or take part in a drug deal gone wrong and get shot, I can't help but snicker at the general enjoyableness that came with being his nurse. Really he was one of the fun drunks, thank you.

Diffuse the tension

Folks, HP comes out this week. I can't even describe how excited I am. I just read like 15 articles containing exactly nothing new, and yet I still wanted more. I've watched the trailers, and then watched them again. And again. I reread the books this month.

HP. Deathly Hallows. Epic.

Coming to a theater near me in just three days. Not four. Because obviously I'll be at the midnight screening.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

This clip? Not as epic. But still, Fred and George for the win.

Deviant behavior

Nurse: So what brings you in to us today?

Patient: Um, well, I had some trouble breathing today and then when I looked in the mirror my neck sort of looked funny. Is that normal?

Nurse: Um...here, have a chest tube setup, Doc.



This xray is a Very Bad Thing. How he wasn't gasping for air is beyond me. Interestingly, it's the first time I've ever seen a deviated trachea. Sucks for him, cool for me. One chest tube later, he felt amazingly great. Minus the giant hose sewed into his side, of course.

November 11 2010

As I'm putting an IV into an elderly gentleman and drawing blood, I'm making small talk with him. I switch from the vacutainer to the luer lock and flush, and a bit of blood dribbles out before I can attach it. A few drops drip onto his hospital gown. "I'm sorry about that," I say.

"It's okay, it's just a little blood," he replies, "nothing I haven't seen before."

"Were you in the medical field?" I ask, curiously.

"Oh no," he says. "I was at Omaha Beach."

***
All I could say to him was thank you. Our worst day in the ER is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what those who fight have seen.



***
Originally posted March 28. Worthy of posting every day. Thank you, to all those who give me my freedom.

Fluff

I am out of shape.

Not fat, just out of shape. I've always been a healthy weight - not too thin, not too fluffy - but all through high school and college I was also fit. I played on high school sports teams; sports that were high intensity were the best. During college, I played intramural sports - ultimate frisbee, floor hockey, soccer (even though I'm godawful at it), and the occasional ridiculous game of capture the flag. There may or may not have been fitness classes thrown in there too, but I will never tell anyone that I took hip hop dance choreography or kickboxing. Too embarrassing to share those, I tell you. I wasn't quite as fit as in high school, but I was healthy.

And then I graduated. And went back to nursing school. And lemme tell you, my motivation for exercise went to zero. When you have 26 hours of school work to do in 24 hours of the day, something has to get cut. For me, it was exercise. I swore to myself that when I got my RN and a job, I would start working out again.

So here I am, almost two years into my nursing career. And I haven't worked out more than a dozen times. Every now and then I'll get on a health kick and run a mile or buy healthier food, but it never lasts more than a few days. I'm just too lazy. Recently though I've noticed that I've put on a few pounds, which I attribute to a lack of exercise, frequent beer consumption at dinner with friends, and the joys of night shift. I'm still not fat, but I've gotten a little soft around the midsection. My muscles aren't as defined as they were. I can't run like I used to. Sometimes my back hurts.

Well, that stops right now.

I was recently out with a friend, and she showed me some yoga poses. I secretly scoffed a bit, because it looked really easy and not even like exercise. She prodded me to take it up myself. So I did. Which brings me to 03:00 on this Monday morning.

I'm sitting on the floor of my living room after having just completed a 47 minute Comcast On-Demand yoga beginner workout. And. I'm. Beat. Who knew it was so hard!? I was seriously shaking at some points. Relaxing breathing? Not a chance. I struggled just to maintain that damn yoga pushup for more than three seconds.

I'm determined though. I will get back into shape. I will tone up. I will eat healthier. I will stretch more often. I will...probably not run anytime soon, seeing as it's hella cold outside now. But I will do this yoga thing, and that I can promise you. 47 minutes a day is nothing in the comfort of my own apartment. I will do this.

Feel free to keep the fluffy one accountable, peeps.

Guy says Fawkes you!

Remember, remember the Fifth of November
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

I made the mistake of realizing it was Guy Fawkes Night yesterday. I chuckled to myself when I walked in, and thought "well let's hope this night lives up to the plot..."

I don't know why I tempted fate like that. I really don't know what came over me. 14 hours later and I'm beat. I took an absolute thrashing at work last night. Multiple, multiple truly sick trauma patients at the same time, for 12 hours, really tends to suck the life out of a person. We put in more chest tubes, ET tubes, and traction pins than I have in six weeks. The pharmacy ran low on propofol. The ED ran low on ventilators. My soul ran low on energy.

It. was. brutal. The worst part of this all...is that I'm back tonight. For daylight savings. For an extra hour...

So I am very sorry, Guy Fawkes. I don't know what I did to make you angry, but I promise...I'll never ever forget this Fifth of November. I would, however, like very much to have a forgettable Sixth of November.

Sports

"Americans love sports in which they're the best - like basketball, and diabetes." - The Daily Show