Tim Tebow, RN

You guys, I'm like the Tim Tebow of travel nursing.  It feels like my recruiter is all, "there's so many places you can go right now" even though nothing is showing real interest. I've got skills even though there's a lot of room for improvement, I come through pretty clutch in a two minute drill (of the CPR type), and all I do is win - or in my case, just not kill patients. Yet somehow I'm still waiting to hear back about a new assignment. Sort of like Tim and his desire to do more than simple grounds crew work.

I was turned down for placements in Tuscon and Phoenix, and I don't have enough travel experience for the Denver job that was posted. I have applications in to Durham NC, Fort Worth TX, Dallas TX, and Wilmington NC but so far haven't heard anything about them.

It's hard not to get discouraged when the first two travel assignments came so easy yet now it seems impossible to find a job. There is also the little factoid that I have already left the East Coast and road tripped my way back to Texas - so I'm over a thousand miles from home and still mostly unemployed. I did keep my per diem jobs back home just in case, but ya know. Who wants to drive two days just to turn around and go right back?

I suppose adventuring does come with a price - and right now that price is uncertainty.

That being said, I'm having a fab time in Texas so far. The people here are pretty great, and that makes all adventures worth it.

Dafuq?

After five years in the ER, I'm shocked that I can still be shocked at how inappropriate seemingly normal will act. Exhibit A:

I was putting an IV in a nice lady's hand and making small talk with her and the wife since she wasn't a big fan of needles. It only took a minute or two, and when I was cleaning up the usual detritus she mentioned how close I had been standing and that I almost "had got it." I repeated the usual stuff about how this is the standard procedure for IV starts, sorry to hold your hand for so long, blah blah. I then asked what she meant by "got it."

"Oh," she said, "you almost got a titty pinch, but you were just a little too far away. Maybe next time!"

I just stared at her. And then left the room. Honestly, I think about two percent of me was kinda flattered that this 60 year old woman thinks my miniboobs are nice enough for that, but the rational and professional 98% of me is absolutely flabbergasted at how inappropriate that was. Would she have said the same if I was a bank teller handing over her deposit receipt? Or a restaurant manager stopping by to see how the food was? What about her child's third grade teacher? Did the wife standing next to her think this was okay too?

Yeah, us nurses always get on our soapboxes about how the general public views us not as professionals but as something a little less, but this is fucking ridiculous. 

Hell

This is my hell for the next 6 hours. I'm over it already, after 22 minutes. 

Dementia

In this blog I might sound like a jaded, cynical crusty-hearted bastard. And I am. But I still feel a lot of sorrow in this job; I just hide it well.

Of the many things that make my heart ache, one of the worst is dementia. I can't even imagine what it must be like to watch a loved one slowly lose themselves over the course of years. To become a shadow of who you once were is horrible. I think of all the life adventures I've had, of the fun and laughter and pure living I've experienced and have yet to undergo...to think that could just go away and I'm left with nothing?

I've written before about the idea of end of life euthanasia and mentioned the passing of the original Dr. Death, but a new article on the front page this week has made me revisit these feelings. Remember that guy, Jim Crabtree? He was in the news last year when his father murdered Jim's wife and mother then committed suicide. There was a lot of opinion both ways, but Jim talked about the huge strain it was to take care of a wife who didn't know him anymore, and two elderly parents who were also ill. He related how people have come up to him and talked of how envious they were that, while a violent end, he was spared the horrendously slow end of the journey of Alzheimer's.

This might not win me a lot of fans, but after seeing the ravaging effects of dementia first hand, both on the patient and their caregivers, I think I side with Jim here. For a dementia patient and their caregivers, death really is the final blessing.

Job update

So the wait for a new assignment continues. I heard from my recruiter today, and apparently Oregon has decided that they require a license in hand prior to offering travelers positions. As I currently reside a few thousand miles away from Oregon, that puts me in a bit of a pickle. I'm in the process of getting it, but you know, paperwork. I'll hold out hope that I can still get up to Bend (and also, I am aware of the multitude of inappropriate jokes that can be made regarding this city name) at some point, but we shall see.

I still have an application in to Phoenix and that's currently plan B. If I have to move to Plan C, I'll probably put in for Columbia SC or go back to Texas since that will require zero effort in terms of licensing. If I have to move on to Plan D, you most likely won't hear from me because that means I've moved onto a sailboat and am hitching a ride to the Bahamas or something to spend my days fishing.

I should probably get on this next assignment thing quick though, because as of Saturday I'm homeless again.

Le sigh.