Monday, October 27, 2008

Nursing School makes me (John) Hurt.

I've blogged before about the lack of shame I have regarding BMs and all other flatus-related topics, so don't think this is a new low for me. It's not.

Nursing school has been really, really stressful these past 8 weeks. I thought that once my Community class was done it might get a little better, but today's class orientation shot that idea down like Duck Hunt. Needless to say, by noon I had boldly gone to levels of stress where no (wo)man has gone before. And when I get stressed, I often get a little gassy. Nothing major, just some uncomfortable belly distension and a strong desire for sweatpants.

But today I tempted fate. I decided it would be a good day to eat Panera for lunch, and let me tell you - it was not a good decision. Super high levels of stress + unhealthy lunch = not a fun car ride home.

I had such rowdy gas that it was actually making my belly spasm. I could put my hand on my belly and feel the turbulence beneath. At one point, I think my shirt even moved. To give you a better idea of what was going on in my midsection today, I've included a picture of a possible outcome scenario that I seriously thought could happen. Enjoy.

And speaking of gross things, check out this story of Redskins players telling vomit stories. Vomit is gross, but it is definitely a funny kind of gross. This story is great for three reasons:
1. It is an actual Washington Post story (albeit an online blog one - still, endorsed by the WP!)
2. The first photo is captioned "Throws up before games. A lot," and the second photo is captioned "Says everyone pukes."
3. This paragraph:

"Fabini, if he starts, he usually pukes at some point in the game," Rabach said of Jason Fabini. "He's puked on the sidelines a couple times."

"Of course," Fabini acknowledged. "I think I vomited on Casey's foot maybe once last year. Or my own."


Jen said...

You're so delightfully classy and ladylike. I just hope I remember all of the ridiculous stories I have to tell you when I finally get to see that pretty face.

Not Nurse Ratched said...

I have that problem too. I am reading Anna Maxted's book "Behaving Like Adults" in which appears the line "I farted like a bog of corpses." It struck me so funny I laughed until tears ran down my face. How appropriate! So now when I get gassy like that I think "I'm farting like a bog of corpses" and start laughing again. Haw, haw, aren't farting and corpses funny? Yes!

keepbreathing said...

As much as I hate to throw up (which was reconfirmed in my head this Friday, much to my chagrin) it is sort of funny. Once or twice in the ER I've had to choke back giggles when somebody loudly retched in the next's just a comical noise.