Dueling flatus

So I had my first night in mental health by myself this past shift. It was a fairly slow night, so I spent most of it in trauma, helping out with whatever people needed and then relieving everyone for lunch. Around 430 am I had an EP come in, so I rang up security and my two favorite security guards came to sit with me and the patient.

We were talking and laughing, when all of a sudden one of the environmental staff walked by and ripped the biggest fart I have EVER heard. And she weighed maybe a buck twenty. Soaking wet.

Of course, she started laughing, we started laughing, the patient started laughing, and thus ensued a thirty minute discussion on why exactly farts are so funny. Because let's be real...if you say farts are not funny, then you are lying.

At this point, one security guard pulls out his phone and proceeds to show us his favorite clip from Family Guy:



After the video, talk eventually turned to other things. At 7 am, when my relief came in, I stood up to go clock out. With all the seriousness I could muster, my parting words to the group were, "well guys, it's been a gas."

Although this one was sort of lame, there is nothing sweeter than getting in the last funny in a conversation with people funnier than I am (especially since I'm not very funny).

Unless it's hearing someone accidentally rip the biggest fart of their life.

Yes, yes he is.

MSNBC, you couldn't have said it better!

Wolverine is such a sexy beast

Losing the training wheels

Well folks, the day has finally come. The day I've been simultaneously waiting for and dreading. The End of Orientation is upon me!

It's true; tonight is the very last night of my nursing orientation. For the next 12.5 hours, I will have a preceptor looking over my shoulder for the last time. And I'm not going to lie, I am terrified. I'm excited, yes, but also terrified. It's a humbling thought to know that today I'm still training and tomorrow I'll be considered smart enough to fly on my own.

I know that I still have a ton to learn, and I think that's what is making me so apprehensive about being done. I mean obviously I can't see everything while on orientation, but I am just now coming to terms with just how much I haven't seen yet. Routine minor trauma? Sure, I'll handle that. Massive resuscitation with blood and fluids and CPR and ACLS and doctors and the Level I and everything else? That I'm still terrified of. Heck, I'm still even terrified of the STEMI since I've not done much with those yet.

Whoo. It's terrifying.

But on the upside, everyone on staff has repeatedly told me, "We won't let you fail." That is a comforting thought. And with that in mind, I think I'm ready to fly!

Yo mama wears neck ruffs...

A linky link on Cranky Epistles' blog directed me to the Shakespearean Insulter, which might be my new favorite page.

My first insult?

Thou art some fool, I am loathe to beat thee.

Thou don't get much better than that!

Sad but true

My friend Kaley sent me this the other day. I can't even deny it; I've watched the entire behind-the-scenes commentary for the Lord of the Rings extended version. Laaaame.



I mean, come on! I'm 23, have my own apartment, just bought a new car, am relatively in shape, and don't have a bunch of cats. So why am I so lame? I can't be sure, but unfortunately it is true. Sigh. Maybe I'll get some cats to cheer me up.

*Disclaimer: Cats = crazy, so I most definitely will not be purchasing lots of cats. Well, maybe just one.

Measurable difference

Moral of the story: There is most definitely a difference between day shift and night shift ER staff. ..

I started on nights two shifts ago, and I'm loving it! Overheard tonight is this exchange between docs:

Charge doc: I hate how the lab never runs our specimens on time, even if they're a priority patient. I wish we had a laundry chute that just ran from the ER to the lab, and we could drop our specimens right down onto their desk.

Other doc: Why don't we just have the patient sit their ass on the chute and squeeze out their own specimens? It'd be awesome! "Oh, that stool sample? Coming right down!"

Charge doc: I'll build that chute tomorrow if they'd let me...*mimes squatting over a chute* Sample this!!

Also of note tonight was the charge doc finding a spray can of skin-freeze anesthetic stuff, and covertly creeping behind every single nurse to spray the frigid liquid on our unsuspecting necks.

While it's true that night shift will eat you alive if you're lazy, unmotivated, or just plain stupid, it's also true that working with the night shift people is more fun than should be legally allowed.


***
And lastly, I shall include this heavenly slice of awesome for you. You'll weep most bitterly upon realizing that you've been missing out on some Jeff Lang all your life.



Ah yes, the sweet sound of auditory gold!

Payback

I'm not upset with anyone nor has anyone done anything to me to require the hatching of an evil revenge scheme, so I don't really have a reason for posting this. Other than, of course, the fact that it's probably one of the funniest moments ever on Scrubs.



Sometimes, I just really wish I had a gospel choir to make my point clear!

Organ donation

We've had trauma orientation classes the past 2 days, and one of the lectures focused on organ donation. I've heard this specific lecture a few times, and definitely encourage organ donation.

She showed a video which I've also seen a few times, but it never fails to make me tear up a little. Have a look, and reconsider your organ donation views!



Even in tragedy, people still have the opportunity to do something that will save another life.

Celebration!

Happy 10,000 blog hit birthday to me! You like me, you really like me!

Thanks for reading, seriously. In this hermit-like life that I live, it's good to know that I have friends - even if you are anonymous and online!

Lessons in humility

Everyone has those little moments in life that make you want to slink away and hope that no one saw you. I had one just recently. I'll share it with you since I can slink away behind the anonymity of this blog.

One of the ortho docs was down to see a patient of mine. He asked me to grab some meds out of the accudose while he got the paperwork together at the staff station. I was leaning up against the counter, laughing with the rest of them, while drawing up the lidocaine. Normally you inject a little air into the vial so when you draw up the med the pressures equalize. Well, my friends, I discovered that when drawing up 1% Lidocaine from a 30 ml single use vial, it is a bad idea to inject air. A bad idea.

Before I could even react, the top to the vial exploded off and lidocaine shot everywhere. On my shirt, on my hands, on my face, on the accudose screen...everywhere. I kid you not, it was even dripping off my eyebrows. Everyone stared for a good three seconds, then burst into hysterical laughter. I was so in shock that I could do nothing except blankly stare at the now empty vial in my hand. Mortifying, I tell you.

Although in all fairness, I probably would have laughed at myself too. But I couldn't feel my face.