Hold on.

This is the second time in six months someone I've known has committed suicide. I would lie and say I can't even fathom the desperation that someone must feel to do such a thing, but the truth is that there have been two instances in my life where for a split second I felt that desperation. The difference between me and them is after a few moments of feeling that awful lowness, I was able to see through to the other side - it was far off, and not an easy place to get to, but I could see it. These two friends, they couldn't see that far.

It breaks my heart. Two good people gone forever, and two worlds of family and friends who are forever changed. I know others have posted before about this same subject, most recently Shepherd of the Gurneys. There isn't really anything I can add to whats been said already.

But seriously. If you ever find yourself facing this same desperation, please know that there is an end to the tunnel. It might be a long way off, and it will be a difficult journey, but there is another side. Nothing anyone can say will make it instantly better, but please. Just hold on a while longer. There is hope.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK
1-800-273-8255

Names

Well guys. I think I've finally made the transition to crusty cynical bastard. There has been nonofficial confirmation by the staff I worked with, although a peer reviewed double blind study would be the best way to know for sure.

Let's just say my name is, oh, Sara. It's not, because hey anonymity! But there is also another Sara who works in the ER, and she's kind of how I used to be. Nice, sweet, and still amazed at how awful people can be. Our other coworkers needed a way to differentiate between the two of us, and after drinks out one day it was decided that she was "Nice Sara" and I am "Whiskey Sara."

Now that I'm no longer there, I guess she's just Sara again. I, however, will probably forever be known as Whiskey Sara. And I'd be offended, but it's true.

Get your kids vaccinated.

A (non-medical) friend of mine posted the other day on facebook about how she is astounded at the anti-vax movement and how otherwise sane people can hold such obviously detrimental views. In the ensuing comments, one of her friends linked to some bullshit natural health blog which had a bunch of links to articles that "proved" the existence between autism and vaccines. I don't know this other girl so I was more than willing to put her on blast, but I also didn't want to completely shame her since she's a friend of my friend and apparently a super nice girl.

But then I got to thinking about it. And I stewed. And I know this is an issue that is constantly percolating and in the news this week and I've posted before about it but DAMNIT GET YOUR KIDS VACCINATED YOU ARROGANT ASSHOLES. Seriously. What a first world problem to have. "Oh, I don't vaccinate my kids because I read this article about thimerosal and now I'm pretty certain that mercury and big pharma cause austism." BULLSHIT.

You know who would love to have the vaccine you're so callously dismissing? That mother in the rural developing African country who is watching her infant die a slow and painful death from coughing-induced hypoxia caused by pertussis. How horrible it must be to know there is nothing she can do but watch her baby die, and here in the US we have spoiled celebrity starlets who get to be interviewed by the news and are given a platform to spew their completely uneducated reasons for declining a vaccine.

Study after study has shown that there is no causation between vaccines and autism. Side effects? Yes. Bad reactions? Yes. Contaminated lots? Yes. But causation? Fuck no, and I'll personally go hand all my life savings to the first person that can show me a study which proves it. Until that moment, I hope you rest easy at night knowing you're a reason that kids in this advanced first-world country are dying a death previously reserved for the mothers in the third worlds who can only wish for the kind of privilege you have.

Measles outbreak hits NYC.

Here's a map that shows the M&M from anti-vax movement.

Jenny McCarthy is an asshole.

Does it really rain fire in the sky? That sounds dangerous.

HEY YOU GUYS!

I'm going to Denver! Got my next travel gig, and I'm starting up there beginning of April. I'm super excited about this. I mean, sunshine, springtime, mountains, and trees that are actually tall?! Not that I have anything against you, Texas, but you're kinda drab and brown. And your trees are stubby. But back to the topic at hand. I'm sad to be leaving here, because I really love the people at this hospital. I should note that I'll be back though. That's what happens when you meet a boy. Plans get all haywire and the state you thought you'd bounce out of and never return to suddenly seems like it might be a home away from home.

That being said, I am SO EXCITED to go to Denver. I've always wanted to go to Colorado, mostly to see those mountains. Growing up in West Virginia and the Midatlantic, I was close to mountains. I love being out in them. But in reality, they're pretty small compared to the Rockies. I can't even fathom what it's like to see a mountain that's more than a mile high. Hell, Denver itself is higher than most of the mountains in the Blue Ridge. And also a greater elevation, heh...

So yeah. Denver. I'm going there!

Side note...if anyone knows anyone who lives in the downtown/capitol hill area and needs a subletter...email me. But don't email me if you're an axe murderer.