MP and the Holy Grail

I'd like to go here someday.



On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. Tis a silly place.

Flatus!

Any bowel and flatus regularity you may have had in your life is promptly lost as your soul is destroyed by nursing school. This is a fact; it's unavoidable and you should just accept it and move on.

I used to keep my bowel habits rather private. Nursing school, however, has obliterated any sense of shame or dignity I may have possessed. I now announce to the world that my gastrointestinal tract is ready to speak. In fact, a friend and I often joke about our bowel habits in plain sight of others, albeit in code terms. The necessity of a "BM and flatus, stat" is a well-rehearsed declaration by us.

We announce these statements to the world because of the utter unpredictability of our bowels. Trying to subtly disperse sudden flatus or deny your crampy pain is like trying to lick your elbow - it ain't gonna happen. Why try to hide it and be called out, when you can embrace your slovenly ways and invite others to share in your GI glory? Why try to pretend the bloating and cramping pain is from your "time of month", and not the junior board cheesesteak that ripped through your bowels at the speed of light? Why say "I need to pee," when really you need to get to the ladies room and blow out the gas in your rectum with the force of an F5 tornado? Because we're nursing students, we have dispensed with the silly lies.

So in summary, our previously private bowel habits are too effed up and irregular to hide behind delusions of grandeur. We have gas, and we want you to know it.

Milestone!

Happy 1,000 blog hits to me! You like me, you really like me :)

In honor of this momentous event, I'll celebrate with a big glass of cran-pomegranate juice and an early bedtime...the real celebration will come three weeks from now, when I take my last final and then burn all my notebooks!

I love where I live

This is a picture of me from last summer. If I could be here all the time, I'd be a happy happy girl.

Dentistry for idiots.

Sometimes, I wonder how I make it through the day...

One of my upper molars has been sensitive for a few days now. I get that every now and then, no big deal. But I happened to have one of those little make-up mirrors laying around, so I decided to play dentist and check out my teeth. So I've got the flashlight and mirror jammed into my mouth, and I'm looking around, and CRAP! Is that a CAVITY!? And oh s**t! I have one on the other molar too! But I brush twice a day, how can this be?

So I call the dentist. He asks me where it is. I tell him, and there is silence. Then finally..."You do remember that we filled those cavities years ago, right? When you had your braces off? You're just looking at the silver fillings."

Needless to say, I stammered a sheepish "thank you" and hung up with the reddest face EVER.

I'm an idiot.

I blame it on nursing school frying my brain.

Springtime?

Well, it was more like summer today. The temperature sign at the bank told me it was 83', but it felt hotter than that. Maybe I'm just not prepared enough yet for the East Coast sweltering summer months. Either way, my buttcrack was sweating and that means it's hot.

I have a ton of stuff do to this weekend, and I am feeling a little stressed about that. But...now for the good news! I got a summer externship here at the local hospital. And it's in the ED! I'm so excited, I can't wait for it. 40 hours of week of actual learning, not the semi-skills we get from clinicals. Heck yes.

Knowing this good news kind of makes me not care about the rest of my classes as much, even though I'm still stressing a little. Sure, I have a research paper due on Monday...but I don't give two hoots about research. Sure, I have a peds care plan due Monday...but I don't like kids anyway. Sure, I have an Adult test on Monday...but I care a little bit less about it (though I'll still study my tail off this weekend - I'm an overachiever). It's more the magnitude of stuff due that's stressing me now, not the actual content. Anyway, it's good to know that I'm set for the summer and that I'll actually learn something useful.

So with that in mind, I'm going downstairs to add some rum to my smoothie and sit outside. I'm too pasty white for my own good, and something needs to be done about it. Maybe I'll take my textbooks with me....

...nah, forget that!

Life before death

I was reading through some blogs, and on RT 101's blog this site was mentioned. It's a photo series called Life Before Death, and shows 11 different people before and just after their death. I'll admit, I am morbidly intrigued at these sort of things, but this one was different. I was almost scared to see what the pictures would be, but I'm not sure why.

So I clicked into it, and at the first "after" picture, I realized I was crying. Clearly, I have some unresolved issues with death. I thought I understood my own thoughts and feelings, but I guess not. I had discussed my thoughts after Tuesdays with Morrie, but it's apparent now that I had only superficially settled those thoughts.

Some of these people had come to terms with their own death, but others hadn't. Maybe I was crying because it is heartbreaking to see someone struggle with a battle they will not win. Maybe I was crying because others had embraced the fact they will die and I don't know how to respond to those people yet. I'm not sure.

I don't think I'm scared of death...maybe just the dying process. And these pictures were painfully clear in showing that the dying process is not kind, no matter how well you prepare yourself for it. Will I be strong enough to go through this myself one day? And more importantly, will I be strong enough to help others through this process?

I'll be thinking on this one for a while.

You asked for it...

So recently I've noticed a trend in blog hits from google searches. It seems that the masses only want to know about a few things, so I figured I'd answer them all and get it over with.

1. Should I go to nursing school?
Yes! You absolutely should. It's hard, you don't have a life, you clean up lots of poo, and sometimes the older nurses are mean to you. You'll also work long hours, be stressed all the time, patients will yell at you, and you'll be underappreciated by most people who don't have any idea what medicine is like. But you're doing rewarding work, you will be helping people, you'll save lives, you'll learn more than you ever thought possible, and you will make some good money doing it. So go to nursing school. It's worth it.

2. What's a perineum?
The perineum is the area on your body from your coccyx to your pubic symphysis, or pubic symphysis to coccyx if you're a front-to-back wiper. Check out the wiki-link for a more detailed discussion.

3. Can I see some perineum pictures?
No you may not. I don't know your motive, and I won't have you getting jolly due to my blog pictures. Go somewhere else to see them, you freak. (I won't judge you for checking out the above link, only for googling "free perineum pictures.")

4. Is nursing school hard?
Yes it it. It's also rewarding. See number one for the reasoning.


More will follow, as people ask it. Stay tuned!

Let my people go!

It is a sad day, people! Charlton Heston has died, and I think I'll go watch The Ten Commandments right now in memory. Seriously, he is the star of all my favorite movies...Ben-Hur, The Ten Commandments, Planet of the Apes, Khartoum. Go watch them, it's worth it.

Even though I don't quite agree with some of his political decisions (ahem, NRA), he was a great actor and suffered for a long time from Alzheimer's. I'm glad he's at peace now.

A much-needed night out

It's been a rough semester. I rarely have time to myself, and when I do, it's usually spent napping so I don't walk around like a zombie all the time. This whole week has been brutal, and it culminated with a pediatrics exam this morning. But amazingly, I am test-free for the next two weeks!

So with that in mind, artillerywifeCQ and I decided to go out for a nice, expensive dinner at a small restaurant in the next town over. It was so wonderful. The food was great, the wine was tasty, and the atmosphere was just what I needed. It's so great to be able to treat ourselves after being so stressed out. I highly recommend going to a new place for an out-of-the-norm meal, just to relax.

And now that I'm home and recovering from my food coma, I'm going to bed. And I'm sleeping all day tomorrow. And there's nothing the nursing program can do about it, suckas!

Tuesdays with Morrie

So for my Adult II class, we all had to watch a movie relating to end-of-life stuff. I chose to watch the aforementioned Tuesdays with Morrie, and I am so glad I did.

I have never really given much thought to end of life care, probably since my entire family is still alive. I still have both my grandmothers, and although one of my grandfathers has passed away, it was when I was very little. All of the relatives I am close to are still alive, and I see them often. As such, I've never thought about what it would be like to lose a close family member; or worse, lose one in such a way that we see death coming from a long way off. Now that I am in nursing school and dealing with the deaths of patients, this is something I need to spend a lot more time on. I know that I have never worked through my own thoughts about the deaths of others, even though it is something I needed to do.

So this movie was absolutely wonderful. I think it really helped me settle my thoughts on death, so that when I lose one of my patients or need to have a discussion with a family member about the death of their loved one, I will be prepared.

There is one question that Morrie asks of Mitch, which I think describes the biggest lesson I will take from this movie. He asks, "How can you spare someone's feelings by denying them?" I think this is a hugely thought provoking question, and I will be sure to ask this of myself when in a death-related situation. Only by acknowledging someones fears, anxiety, questions, and tears will I be able to sort out my own feelings about the patient.

You know, my friends and I complain a lot about our nursing school and the incompetency of certain professors. But for once, we were given an assignment that will truly help us in the real world of nursing. And I'm so glad we were. Well done (for once), professors. Well done.